It wasn't supposed to happen // MHA Bakugo

51. I chuckle

I chuckle.

"That... was..." I start.

"Different."

I feel slightly intimidated, naked, obviously I am but the burst of romantic emotions I feel right now overwhelms me. Yet the first word that came out of him was 'different'...

"I was thinking 'Amazing'."

"Yes, sorry." He says shaking his head. Pushing my hair sleekly away from my face, his eyes flicker all over, as I graze his back with my short nails. "Mikki... I don't know how to says this but..."

His sudden seriousness confuses me slightly.

"Are you okay?"

"I am." He doesn't look like it. He looks fed up. "I'm just trying to say something but I'm not sure it's a good idea 'coz I don't want to freak you out." Breathe... just be patient... nothing to worry about. "I... like you." I breathe out reassured. I already knew that. Unable to contain my smile, I feel concerned when that doesn't seem to appease him. "I'm falling for you." He drops painfully, looking down, I assume because he's hating the fact that he'd show any sort of vulnerability.

Are his feelings already deeper than I thought? I lift his face up and see him struggle.

"I'm falling for you too."

"It's different. You already did."

"I fell for Katsuki Bakugou five years ago. I've had a life since. In the last month, I fell for you, not my childhood sweetheart."

"It means a lot but I can't."

"Say that again?"

"I can't... be with you." My hands stroking his smooth shoulders retract. My heart sinks as I watch him picking up my towel and wrapping my shoulders. After what we just shared, he drops something like that? After I confirmed that, regardless the adversity, I am literally crazy about him, this man standing in front of me is rejecting me?

"How can you say that?" I say jumping off the counter, anger rising, wrapping the towel around myself. I am such an idiot. "HOW?!" I shout pushing his chest. At this stage, I don't care of the consequences. I can tell he's about to lash out.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" He growls, now so close to my face, his fiery eyes ready to pierce through me then quickly softening. Sighing deeply, he drags his fingers through his hair, vanquished. "What if something was to happen to you? I'd lose my mind and forget all the training, all the procedures and all the things that make me a hero to save you. I'd kill anyone who'd hurt you. I can't love you as much as I do. I can't."

That speech... I hear these words and my memories feel the rain pouring over us five years ago. He's the same man.

"I... I love you too." I calm my nerves getting closer to him, lifting his face to look at me. He's so torn. "Is that why you were so serious just now when we..."

"I realised how perfect you are for me. How... how I want to be that man for you... how we make sense... how I can't live without you." Oh my heart.

"I'm not going anywhere baby. I'm one of the best heroes around. You don't have to worry about me. You don't have to save me."

"You're so arrogant." HA!

"Yeah who knew that was an attractive trait?" My rhetorical question makes him chuckle. "Can we just focus on the nice part of this whole thing please?"

"No! Love is pain, distraction." Damn his tendency to reject me.

"Love is beautiful. Plenty of heroes have love in their lives, families."

"That weakens them."

"Fine then. Nice shag. Let's not to do that again. See you in the office on Monday." I say, walking towards the door just to feel my arm yanked. He's so predictable. "Katsuki, make up your mind because I can't live like a yo-yo."

After a few excruciating seconds, he lets go of my arm.

"Stay." He says quietly, making me think the battle is not completely won.

Walking past me, he grabs things from his chest of drawers. He puts shorts on and throws shorts and a tshirt on my side of the bed, clear statement that he no longer wants to 'fuck me' for the rest of the night. To be honest, I am just exhausted now.

His silence worries me a little, but he wants me to stay. Once in his clothes, I lay on my side of the bed, and as he is turned facing away, I mirror him.

The lights go off, and I hear him shuffling for a while, sighing, clearly not finding a comfortable position or state of mind to fall asleep. I don't want to push him or seem needy. I don't want to prompt him. I've said all I wanted to say.

He shuffles more and the body heat radiating behind me, shows how close he is. Why won't he hug me? Does he think I'm asleep?

I reach behind my back and find his arm, which I pull placing it on my waist.

Finally feeling him getting completely close to me, spooning me, his other arm slides under my neck and wraps my shoulders, holding me against his chest.

The hand on my waist slips under my tshirt, flat on my stomach and his thumb caresses me gently as his breath fans my neck.

A couple of serene grunt later, he's asleep, and I follow shortly after, feeling at peace, reassured that he wants me, that he needs me, that even if he fights his feelings as much as he wants, he still is mine.

Will he change his mind again though?

What time is it?

The light coming through the blinds is really bright. I am shocked to see that I have slept through the sun rising but then my aching body reminds me that I was exhausted last night.

My buzzing phone in the room next door explains why I woke up.

Pushing his heavy arm from my waist, I slide off the bed and rush out, pulling the bedroom door shut before picking up my phone.

Hawks.

I quickly answer the video call, whispering.

"Hey." I'm suddenly aware that I'm in Bakugou's clothes and sit on the sofa.

"Thank god."

"Sorry."

"No it's fine. I was being stupid and imagined the worst."

"I should have let you know I stayed."

"I kinda knew it was gonna happen." My silence feels heavy.

"Did you just get home?"

"I did."

I suddenly don't feel so ashamed anymore.

"How's your friend?"

"Hung over but she'll survive."

"Good."

"I heard back from the forensics department and they have some important intel to brief us on on Monday so take the day off. I'll see you later."

"Thanks. Get some rest too."

"I gotta take some soup to the patient. Talk to you later."

After finishing the call, I walk to the kitchen and find the plates of sugary crepe suzettes from last night, the memory of his tongue licking my chest as I was sitting on the kitchen island making my cheeks suddenly feel very hot.

After putting everything in the dishwasher, I start cooking breakfast, finding my bearings in his kitchen.

All ready now waiting for him to wake up, I wash up the few pans and pots. But once done, a ball in my stomach appears. How will he feel about us today? Is there still an 'us'?

"Morning." He says startling me in the raspiest and sexiest voice.