hold me close

•|1|•

O L I V I A

Rain drops were splashing on the window with the sound that wasn't very pleasant to endure. The clouds covered the sky with colours of black and white, leaving blots of partial blue like a painting spoiled by water droplets. I've never loved paintings but I like to paint because I am decent at that and the compliments and appreciations after finishing a painting boosts up my morals, like telling me that 'hey! You're good at at least something.'

But it's not true. I have always been good at almost everything, but best at nothing. I can cook yummy mouth watering food but if I enter a competition, I wouldn't be able to come even in the top thousand. I can scribble great quotes on the pages of my class notebooks, but can never finish a poem or a book. I can paint decently but not good enough to sell it to someone.

I looked out from the thick glassed windows, the sky seemed to be calming down which was a good thing because I didn't have an umbrella, just like always.

A girl was sitting on the opposite row of the metro I was in, cuddling with her cat. I quickly moved away my gaze to someone else, afraid that the cat might slip out of her hands and attack me, ruining my new dress. An old man, maybe in his 50s, was reading newspaper while moving his wrinkled palms in his dyed hair.

The train came to a halt at a station which didn't concern me. Some people left and new ones entered. Everywhere, at every moment, the contrast of different people's lives always amazed and amused me. Too many emotions are felt in this world which are so different from each other but yet happened at the same time. Sometimes, when I felt dingy without any particular reason, I liked to think that its because of the overload of gloominess congregated in the environment by the heart of different people.

A guy, maybe in his early 20s, entered the metro from the gate with few more people. I wouldn't have noticed him or anyone generally but he had a peculiar appearance. I mean, generally, people of this age liked to live in a well mannered way. Not that he was behaving out of manner, I mean he wasn't well...maintained.

His hair were messy, but he still managed to look good even without caring. He was dark skinned with broad shoulders and perfectly trimmed beard. He was wearing a white t shirt and pants, with...slippers. I couldn't conclude whether he was carefree or a careless guy.

He looked like a gypsy, so out of place yet forced to stay. He took a seat beside me and I fixed my gaze on the black mirrored glass in front of me. The metro was travelling from the underground route now and I could have a good view of this guy from his reflection in the mirror.

He was reading a book whose name I couldn't figure out from the reflection. The smell coming out from him was a treat to someone like me who enjoyed sniffing and absorbing anything that smelled good. Good thing I was in my senses and didn't try to sniff him! He smelled like he had taken a bath in a pool of the cologne which tv commercial advertised, which might sound like overwhelming but his smell was really pleasant to be in the presence of. He moved his palms through his hair as he looked here and there for a moment, stopping his gaze at me.

Fuck!

He looked at me and then at the reflection from which I was staring at him. I took out my phone and started scrolling aimlessly, opening and closing different apps without actually fixing at anything.

I thanked all the Gods of the world when he didn't ask me any questions even after finding out that I was staring at him. I moved my neck a little, trying to take a peek at what he was reading.

"What..." I clear my throat when it came out all rough and squeaky, "what are you reading?" I ask.

Where did this confidence come from?

It took a moment for him to realise that I was talking to him, when he did, he smiled. That was the most genuine smile I had seen someone give me in months. He took his lower lips under the grips of his upper one- like I do to settle my lipstick-before answering.

"This, it's umm, a history book." He said, in his deep, young and confident voice, showing the cover of the book to me for a brief moment which wasn't enough for me to read the title, but that's okay! It was history and that was all I would've liked to know.

"Ah! Nice! " I nodded, like it was the most interesting thing I had ever heard.

I usually was not this awkward or uncomfortable around people, or guys, or anyone. But I have these stupid thing of giving the best impressions and at some level, I wanted to have a good impression in front of someone with such a genuine smile and a different appearance and a forthcoming aura.

And a sexy smell!

The splish splashing of rain drops got even louder when the metro came out of the underground route. I cursed in a miffed voice at the thought of getting soaked up on my way to home.

"Sorry?" The guy asked. His way of talking was so polite, like a gentleman. His brows were raised, waiting for me to speak. He seemed vigilant of my actions.

"Oh...nothing. It's just my station is about to arrive and it's raining hard and I don't have an umbrella and I hate getting soaked up when I am in my new dress." I completed, out of breath after saying so many words so fast.

He ruffled through his bag, taking out an umbrella.

"You can take this. I've an extra umbrella. I just bought one on my way. " He adviced. His advice sounded more like a demand. 'You can take this.' sounded more like, 'hey! You've to take this.'

"Why would you buy an extra if you already had one? " I said amusingly, trying to hold my laughter.

"I just like randomness." He declared, closing his book, realising that it wasn't needed anymore.

"Or... Spending money on useless things? " I said, taking the umbrella from his hand. My words came more monotonous and mean than I intented to. I regretted saying it, so I gave him an awkward laugh as to conceal my rudeness by my awkward giggles.

He looked at me for few seconds without any expressions. Just when I was about to crumble all my expectations of making a good impression in front him, he mouthed a dramatic 'oh'.

He made an invisible heart with his fingers on the window, and acted like burying his head in it.

"Great humour! I am not impressed. "I said with my miserable attempt of hiding my smile. I was impressed.

"My station is about to arrive. Can you give me your number so I can ask you where and when to return this?" I told him showcasing the umbrella he gave me.

"Or you can meet me here, tomorrow, at the same time. This is my usual route." He told me and I realise that he hadn't taken his eyes off me after my mean comment of spending money, which I didn't think he took as mean.

I don't take my eyes off him either. His brown eyes were like a forest, and I couldn't help but admit that I was willing to get lost in them. Wrinkles formed around his lips as he tried to hide his smile by biting his lips.

"But, this isn't my usual route,"

"You're very blunt, in a good way!" He stated.

"Am I?" I giggled, giving him a paper with my number, and bid him goodbye, all the while clutching to the umbrella tight.