Love is Like a Butterfly

Chapter One: Here We Are Again

It had all started a month ago.

She ignored the signs. She had to. She didn't know what to do if they were true so it was better that way. Still, though, she can't. Curiosity was getting the better of her. That, and she knew deep down inside of her heart they truly, she was pregnant. She had been pregnant three times. She knew the signs and symptoms.

She wasn't throwing up this time around but she had missed her period. She was also tired, and just the thought of eating sushi made her want to gag.

So, here Noelle was.

A pregnancy test in hand.

For the past thirty minutes, she had just been staring at it. What would she do if she was pregnant? After her birthday she decided that she was done with what if's, but here she was thinking about them again. It was months later from her birthday, so it only made sense that they were in this predicament. Neither of them had been trying to get pregnant anymore, in fact, they decided on waiting a little while.

This was unexpected.

If she was pregnant though, she wouldn't mind. She'd be grateful and happy that their love had created yet another little tiny being. Would she worry? Of course would! She'd still keep the baby though. Each chance was a new chance.

"Take a deep breath," she whispers to herself, looking in the mirror.

And so she does. And takes as many more as she could need. She takes so many until finally, she calms down. Her heart had been racing for maybe the past hour. She went out to buy the test as soon as Asta left this morning, and she had stared at it for a good thirty minutes. She takes the test and then proceeds to walk away. Five minutes. That's all she had until the test would be fully complete.

She's not supposed to be thinking about what-ifs, but still, the scenarios come into her head, good and bad ones. What if this baby would miscarry just like the others had? What would she do then? Break down again? Or would it be worse? What if this baby survived for her to give birth? Would she finally come back from the hospital with a child in her arms?

She didn't know.

She wouldn't know.

Not until it happened.

But still, all of this was so scary. It frightened her. Then again though, what if she wasn't pregnant. What would she do then? How would she feel then? Would she be upset? Happy? Sad? Mad? Relieved? So many thoughts, so much emotion, and as she had thought in the beginning, thinking these things got her completely nowhere. Not a step any closer neither any further back.

She was still here, feeling the same way with confusing emotions. She felt like she was walking in circles. The same things kept happening and repeating.

Noelle hated this.

The timer beeps, which shocks her so much that she jumps. It was time. Her answer would come shortly. She stands, and almost feels like passing out. Oh, how she wished she had done this with another person in the room for support, whether that be Asta, Nozel, Charlotte, Vanessa, or anyone else, hell, even Yuno.

But she still stands, and she keeps walking.

Where did all of her confidence go?

She was Noelle Silva.

She was a strong female, capable of anything, including this. This was just another stone in the road that she would soon pass. When did she forget that?

Noelle keeps walking, all the way past their living room, all the way up the stairs, and into the bathroom. She doesn't hesitate, what would be the point? She'd see the test eventually! So she picks it up, and her eyes meet the results. It wasn't a test with either one line or two lines, it had the words on it.