How could a woman like Suki fall for a woman like Honey?
And how could Honey ever feel the same?
Suki Panesar; a woman with a hard exterior, rude and gave strangers cold stares. A woman who you wouldn't want to mess with. A woman who barely ever smiled, never let her wall down to anyone. She can manipulate people to get what she wants, she's a villain, so how could Honey ever reciprocate these feelings? Honey Mitchell always radiated warmth, smiled at people even if they gave her attitude. Kind and caring, she would cook for Suki and be there for her when she was at her lowest.
Although, past Suki's hard-woman façade, there was a soft spot inside her for Honey. She hated it. She hated it but she loved it. She would turn away to hide her smiles and laughs. Honey noticed, she thought it was cute, actually. Suki tried to continue her emotionless trait, but it was slipping away. Before it just came natural, but now sometimes it's something she has to consciously do. It's not like this all the time though. She's still grieving over the loss of her son, Jagvir. She hasn't been eating. She hasn't been sleeping. Her mind was consumed by guilt, sadness, and every single moment with her now deceased son that she had took for granted. But when she sat, crying on her kitchen floor, when Honey had slipped her hand into hers, her world seemingly slowed down. Her thoughts stopped racing and they... Floated. They went into the background. She felt Honey's soft skin and took a deep breath, feeling a tear roll down her cheek. Everything felt still in that moment. Since when did friendship ever feel this way?
"What have you done with my mother?" Her daughter, Ash, had said once. She had came in the living room and seen Suki and Honey laughing quietly about something. Honey had left shortly after, leaving her empty mug vacant on the coffee table. Honey didn't fully leave Suki's mind until she had fallen asleep. Although Honey crept into Suki's dreams that night, which was great, it was a change of record to the bad ones she usually had.
Oh how the tables have turned.
Years back, Suki had found out her daughter Ash was bisexual. To say hell broke loose would be an understatement. Suki didn't accept her. She made it clear Ash wasn't welcome in her house. And now, what is this? Karma? For treating my daughter that way, now am I developing feelings for a woman?
Now I think I get it. She can't help her feelings and nor can I. God, this is a mess, I'm a grown woman with 3 kids and now all of a sudden this?
Thankfully Ash and Suki have made up since then, but they still clash sometimes.
A lot.
"...Because I'm your friend, Suki."
"...It's what friends are for."
These words Honey had said swirled around Suki's head.
Friends.
Is that what this is? But why do i feel so jealous when Honey's boyfriend, Jay, is talking to her? Why does the sight of them kiss make my stomach churn in anger and jealousy?
-
Honey entered her flat, put her yellow handbang on the floor and sat on the sofa. She turned on the TV, flicking through channels idly, her brain occupied by her thoughts. Jay was out, it was just her, her daughter and son at home. They were upstairs.
I hope Suki's okay.
Honey worried about her a lot. Sometimes it got so bad she felt it in the pit of her stomach, and the only way to relieve it would be to go check on her.
Adleast she saw her at work, as Suki owned the Minute Mart which Honey worked at. Suki scared her at first, but once Honey realised her coldness was just a front, she saw Suki's kindness underneath. It pulled her in. Suki had a way about her. Mysterious? She was beautiful, her hair always neat and perfect, even on her bad days. Honey would see a glimmer in her eyes when she smiled. Even subconsciously, when Honey would hear someone enter the shop or knock on her front door, she wanted it to be her. How was it that being in Suki's company was so soothing? No matter how rude or mean she was, to Honey, she was likeable.
Although Honey wasn't certain if this was all one sided or not. It's kind of hard to tell whether Suki genuinely liked you or not, but Honey was sure she did. In a friend way or not, Suki had put her arms around Honey after telling her she was a bad person. Suki had rested her hands on Honey's back.
I have Jay... I have Jay but for some reason I want Suki more. She's exciting, she makes me feel fuzzy inside. I love Jay, right? He's my boyfriend and I think I love him. But he's never made my stomach flutter and feel weird and fuzzy, has he? Or am I over thinking this? This is so confusing. It's fine, though. I haven't cheated. I haven't done anything wrong.
But I really like Suki.
I want her to be happy.
I want her.
