| white wolf | N.R

╠ part 25 ╣ i cant breathe

y/n's pov

- TW: mention of torture, nightmares and needles, pictures are also shown as a warning for anyone -

its like 4 am in the morning and my phone eventually stopped pinging, thank god they finally fell asleep i thought. i put on my pj's, which was basically just a hoodie and some checked trousers, i then lowered myself onto the floor and lay my head down. i thought about how much my life had changed ever since i left the red room and escaped hydra. i was a free woman. but there are some things that will forever stick, such as i could never bring myself to sleep in a bed...there almost too soft and comforting. in hydra they would usually cuff peoples hands to the bed ensuring no one could escape at night. the beds would have 'mattresses' and by mattresses i mean more like a triangle of foam that laid the bed not even big enough to fill the edges of the frame. i despised them, beds would just remind me of all of the bad experiences i've had and i guess my opinions on it all hasn't changed ever since. i lay there for a few minutes, no people, no thoughts, no sounds...nothing. it was absolute bliss. i don't recall it but i must of drifted off to sleep not that long after.

- TW starts -

i was just returning from a mission, which was unsuccessful and i knew something bad would happen in return. i was walking side by side with another agent that was assigned to do the mission with me, we were just entering the building when i was quickly swept off my feet and was dragged by 4 guards. they carried me all the way to a dark and empty room, i tried to struggle out of their grasp, kicking and lashing throughout the journey. my face was then met with a wall, banging my head against it causing me to feel dizzy. my vision started to go blurry. i couldn't make out their face. i noticed they wore black medical gloves, assuming to hide their fingerprints from being tracked back to them. i felt the weird sensation of the gloves as they started to grab my hair.

(^ inspired by billie eilish's music video ^)

they cuffed my hands and feet with tight links to the seat to prevent me from escaping. i then cried out in agonising pain as they dragged knives down my back, leaving the blood to make a trail downwards. they unscrewed the lid of this bottle that was full of some sort of random liquid, they started pouring it over my back making me flinch and squirm as it trickles into my fresh wounds that they created. tears started to form in my eyes making them watery. i couldn't cry though, that made me look weaker than i already was. they gathered about tons of needles and stabbed them into my back, injecting whatever substance they obtained inside of them- the searing pain coursing throughout all around my body.

i shot up gasping for air. i had sweat dripping down my neck , my palms were all red and my knuckles were practically white from me clenching my fists. my breathing was all over the place, i pulled myself up from the floor and walked into the bathroom, i cupped my hands letting the cold water gather in my hands allowing me to splash it all in my face. all the nightmares replaying over and over again in my head. i started to choke on some of the water, causing me to cough out blood? unexpected. the blood started to dribble down my neck and onto my clean hoodie just great i thought. i looked at the time, it was 6:24 in the morning.

- TW ends -

natasha's pov

i was up early as per usual. i sneaked out of my room, careful not to wake up wanda and maria. i often like to get an early start to the day or at least that's what i tell the others. i do lots training, running and reading in the morning as i suffer badly from frequent night terrors so it helps me clear my mind a bit. i was quietly walking down the hallway aiming for my room when i heard violent coughing coming from y/n's room. knocked on the door but no answer. i waited for a bit, still hearing this painful sound of coarse coughing. i slowly pushed down the handle and opened the door only to see her lying on the floor topless (and a bra) with blood around her face and down her neck. i shut the door behind me causing her to jump up in surprise and started to panic, i ran towards her and grabbed her face making her look directly at me. i brought her in close for a hug and let her listen to my heart beat, i felt hers racing going at the speed of light. after some time she started to calm down knowing it was only me. i pulled away from the hug and looked her straight in her eyes,

"hey- is everything okay? what happened?" i asked, worry filling my tone. all i got in return was silence. i went into the bathroom to try and find a cloth, grabbing it, i soaked it with some warm water and headed back into her room. i placed it on her face and neck, she flinch at the feeling of the contact against her skin. i just whispered sweet nothings to her, to reassure her and try keep her breathing steady. once i'd cleaned her up, i found her a new  hoodie to wear as the one i found on the floor was covered in her blood. she lay herself back down on the floor in silence. i thought it was best to leave her be so started to make my way out of her room when she sat up quickly to grab my hand causing me to stop in my tracks,

"please. dont go..." she begged in a soft tone. i nodded and walked over and i placed myself beside her while she rested her head on my shoulder. we stayed there for a couple of minutes in a comfortable silence until she drifted off to sleep. i admired her for a while, looking at every one of her features. y/n has changed a lot since i last saw her. she has tattoos now, she has some interesting variations of tattoos down her arms and stomach. i couldn't help but also notice that she seemed to have a much more muscular figure than before, that comes with the intense training she does i guess. i can't remember but i must've fallen asleep not too long after.

- a/n: credits for this idea goes to @Quakeridersdaughter! thank you so much for the request, i did change it slightly but i hope you still liked it. stay safe <3 -