Tomorrow

Back In The Saddle

Everyone always warns you to follow your gut, especially in my line of work. Unfortunately, that's much easier said then done, especially when your stuck with someone as hard headed as Becky as a partner.

The air was thick with humidity, with every step my duty belt seemed to weigh me down. My shoes squished the wet tar on the road beneath my feet, and I could feel sweat trickling down my back.

We were stood on the sagging front porch of a house that had seen better days. At once an impressive three story home, now a dilapidated eyesore cut up into low income Appartments.

Becky raised her fist and knocked with purpose for a second time on the barred front door. Somewhere inside a dog barked. I made a mental note not to get bit.

I had a bad feeling about the house, from the second we'd stepped out of the cruiser and onto the overgrown front lawn there had been a strange ambiance lingering in the air. My fingertips hovering over my gun, I rocked back on my heels then forward onto my toes again, careful to stay to the side of the door and out of the line of fire.

Becky took a step back, surveyed the windows and finding each of them empty, pounded on the door with authority.

"Lincoln PD!" She called out.

"Maybe we should call for back up." I offered.

"For an empty house Elle? We're the only two women car on the road, I'm not crying wolf so the guys can think we're a bunch of damsels. Let's go around back."

Careful not to turn my back on the house, I followed her down the front steps and around the side of the house to the back porch, where a slit screen door stood ajar.

Becky climbed the overgrown steps two at a time and standing to the side of the door pounded on the rusting door frame.

"Lincoln PD!"

From inside, the floorboards creaked and a hunched over elderly woman shuffled forward, stopping on the other side of the door and surveying us through clouded pinpoint eyes.

"Can I help you?" She asked, ver voice raspy and low.

"We got a call from this address." Becky informed her.

"No one called." The woman replied and reached to shut the bared back door.

"Who else lives here?" Becky demanded, "We got a call from a woman screaming for help."

"I'm not sure."

"We're gonna need to make sure your neighbors are alright."

"They're fine."

Becky opened her mouth to reply, her eyes filled with her 'pissed off cut the shit' attitude. Before she could muster a word however a muffled scream from the depths of the house made the hairs on my arms stand on end.

Her hand on her gun, Becky pushed the screen door open and stepped into the dimly lit house.
Cursing under my breath I followed her, my skin crawling when a cockroach the size of a silver dollar scuttled from beneath my boot.

My head on the swivel I took in dusty furniture, a filthy kitchen and cop webs hanging from every nook and cranny.

Great. They probably had bed bugs.

The muffled scream rang out again. It was coming from upstairs. Becky stepped past the old woman and weaving through the maze like house to the stairs took them two at a time to the top.

Becky was so much like Mom it pissed me off sometimes; brave, commanding, in charge. My older brother Danny was the same way. A chip off the old block. Both my parents were cops when they were younger, my grandpa was, my uncles were. The only exception was my younger brother Kyle who was a fireman. They all seemed to be born with heroic blood in their veins and then there was me.

Becky strode you to a closed bedroom door and pounded on it.

"Lincoln PD open up!"

Muffled noises from the other side and frantic whispers were her only answer.

Becky grabbed the door handle with her left hand, her right wrapped tightly around her gun and threw the door open.

"Fuck!"

A scream.

Bang. Bang.

I sat bolt upright in bed, twisted in my sweat soaked sheets. I looked at the time 4am. My room lit only by the sliver of moonlight shining through my curtains I fumbled around my nightstand for a glass of water. My fingers wrapped around the empty glass.

Untangling myself from my sheets I made my way downstairs to the kitchen where my younger brother Kyle was placing grilled chicken into meal prep containers one handed, while he held his infant son max with the other.

"Can't sleep?" He asked, looking up.

I shook my head and reached for the baby which he handed over, flashing a smile of appreciation. Careful not to wake my nephew I sunk down in a barstool at the counter.

"Today's a big day." He stated, as if I didn't already know, "You ready to go back to work?"

"I don't know." I admitted, "I'm out of FMLA days, I don't really have a choice."

"You could always ditch the felons for fires." He teased.

I made a face, "And be a rookie on probation."

"Only for a year."

"And the only girl on a department? No thanks."

Popping a piece of chicken into his mouth, he shrugged, "Maybe you'd meet someone."

It would be nice to meet someone, fall in love, move back into my own appartment and get out of my brother and sister in laws hair. They'd been more then gracious and understanding but they were a new family, I'm sure he didn't want his depressed older sister shuffling around like a kicked puppy all the time.

"You going back to bed or do you want some coffee?" He asked.

"Coffee would be nice."

"I think if you would go visit Becky it would help you."

I frowned.

"I ruined her life, she can never work again, walk again, have kids. She doesn't want to see me."

"You're her little sister, she loves you."

"I should be in her place, it should have been me that got shot."

"Don't say that."

"It's true."

"Are you still talking to your therapist."

"I'm fine Kyle."

"You're a good cop Elle. A good sister, a great aunt. What happened wasn't your fault."

"Tell mom that."

Kyle winced.

I knew my mom blamed me for the accident. For the past six months I'd been to scared to face her or Becky. I'd even missed Max's baptism because I couldn't bare to see the disappointment on their faces.

"You're gonna kill it today Elle."

"Or get someone killed."

"You could always do a ride along at the fire station. You never know, you might like it."

"Hard pass."

"You're way too hard on yourself."

I shrugged.

I'd never wanted to be a cop, it was just sort of expected that I would become one. I'd never really considered doing anything else. I'd studied hard, passed my academy at the top of my class and joined the department without any issues. It was working with Becky that had been the problem, fearless, hard headed Becky. I was cautious, I did things by the book, the safe way. If I hadn't been so hesitant the accident wouldn't have happened.

"It could have happened to anyone." Kyle said gently, as if reading my mind, "You've got to get up and get back in the saddle. You're twenty-four, retirement is a long way off, you've got to go back sooner or later."

I sighed, wishing it was later rather then sooner.