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Today I will not be ruled by my anxiety

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Today I will not be ruled by my anxiety.

Or so, that's what I told myself as I got dressed this morning. The dreary sky looked grey and dull above me but I stood in a small pocket of light caused by the parted rain clouds, observing Chestington High, a brown building draped in appropriate darkness from the cast of shadows.

Every day was a carbon copy of the other, I stood just like this, opposite this building, procrastinating on whether I should go inside.

I watched people move around the parking lot, the jocks with their fancy cars and loud music, the bitches with their compact mirrors and lip gloss, the nerds who practically run to their first classes to ensure they get there before the teacher even arrives.

High School came easy to those who slipped into friendship groups and blended in with their people but I didn't have that luxury. I didn't fit into any clique.

I was just... me.

I clawed damp air into my lungs, desperate to suck in any courage. Whatever confidence my peers were breathing in, I wanted it.

Maybe this year would be different.

Just keep your head up and make it to your locker Olivia, everything will be okay.

As I took a step forward my stomach flipped, a ball of anxiety rolling around inside of it like a boulder. I felt like I was suffocating, subconsciously holding my breath - like not breathing would somehow make me less noticeable.

In my peripheral vision I eyed the jocks getting out of their cars, rap music bled through their speakers, drawing maximum attention, not that they needed any extra help in that department. The four star players were teen royalty around here.

Jordan Peers, my main bully rubbed his T-shirt over the bonnet of his red car. He was a total douchebag, always the first to crack the jokes, forever laughing at someone else's expense. Quite possibly the most evilest person alive.

I kept walking, making my steps lighter but faster as I approached them. I wanted to go in unseen and unheard, in fact, I wanted to disappear entirely.

"Liam, go long!" Zaks voice called out as he hovered a soccer ball back and forth in his hand.

"Don't be throwing balls near my car." Jordan demanded.

Zak Adams. It's a good thing he's the money because he's certainly not the brains - completely and utterly dense. He is known for dating the head cheerleader, though I know their relationship is anything but monogamous. His parents pay a lot of money towards the school so he can pretty much get away with anything and not get kicked out.

I heard the whispers from crowds of students all around me and could see eyes stalking me from every direction as I made my way through the school grounds.

EDITED BBAWhere stories live. Discover now