Hi there.
Do you know there's this certain comfort zone that always accompanies me wherever I go? No matter if I am at work, enjoy my quality time with my friends and family or I simply chill on my couch and literally do nothing. I can't seem to get out of it and, to be honest, I hardly cared about it. However a few weeks ago I took my first step out of it, and why is that? In the last couple of months a few dear people of mine made me realize that I have been getting to comfortable for my own good. I should explore myself a little more, admit who I am and try to gather new life experiences slowly but surely at my own pace. Although I never intended to hide my feelings, I had trouble realizing my true self - and I probably still don't know much about me or what I really want. Even so I decided to take on this quest of mine (getting to know myself) and I set out on a journey to meet new people that eventually may become very special to me. I wish to learn from them, find out my preferences and maybe there's even more waiting there for me. Right now I am simply glad to have found a trail on the path of self discovery and I definitely do not regret it! It's exciting and nerve - racking at the same time yet I am happy to have made it this far. For now I think I am kind of gender nonconforming and bi and who knows into what it may change in time, so please don't laugh future me.
It still stresses me out quite a bit to be this uncertain about my own orientation, while others have everything figured out at a very young age. It feels as if I am always far behind everyone else and I can't seem to fit in - but you never know if you never try I guess. There is one thing I certainly do know though. I wanna know what love is like (I guess curiosity got the better of me) and I do hope you have already experienced it once (or you might be cursing at me cause it turned out to be quite an unpleasant relationship).
In the end I just hope you came to accept who you are and you're happy with it. And most importantly, that you are still surrounded by your loved ones, who take you for who you are.
Yours,
your old self
I wrote this because I think it's a great idea to support those who are struggling with themselves and don't have anyone to count on. Even if it's just a small donation for The Trevor Project , if more people think this way a great amount of money can be raised. And all the best luck to all of you!:)
