Part 1

2 1 0
                                    

Uff…. got the contract.
I squealed with happiness as I drove to my house. But…… Well, he will be late again. My happiness got drained out as soon as I remembered that I can't spend with him today, again.  Even if he arrives early, will he spend time with me? Hell no. Although this is my daily routine, I still feel sad and empty without his presence. I parked my car and walked into the lift. Just when the lift door was about to close, it opened again.
There he is…. Jungkook.
He entered the lift, saw me and smiled. I returned the smile.
That's it? But...Wow he's early today
We both of course pressed the same floor button but our fingers brushed. He took back his hand immediately.
What? Am I a virus ?

The lift reached our designated floor and we got out. I made my way to our flat and opened it by pressing the pin. Without glancing behind, I walked to my room, well our room. By the time I took my towel and clothes to take a shower, he was removing his shirt.
Do I look like I care?
But I care about those abs tho.

I made my way to the bathroom and closed it shut. I heard some rustling sounds and after that the sound of the room door closing.
Hmm...he went to the next room's bathroom.
I took a long shower and changed into nightwear before coming out of the bathroom. He was drying his hair in front of the bathroom where the mirror is. I crashed into him without looking. He held my waist to let me not fall.

"S-sorry" I said.

He hummed, loosened the grip slowly and moved back. I didn't give a glance and moved away from him to my side of the bed. I sat on the bed. His gaze was on me now. I didn't understand why he kept looking at me but I dried my hair with the towel real quick and left the room.
Was I that sexy in wet hair? 

I chuckled at my wild imagination and kept scrolling the menu. I decided to order some food today as I'm not in any mood to cook. Instead, I'm in the mood to celebrate. My company got a great deal and me being the director of it, worked my ass off and finally I'm getting paid for it. I took one week leave and decided to rest well. I placed the order. I don't even need to ask him cause I know what he eats. Not after too long, the order came and I received it. I placed the food on the gable and grabbed some utensils before going to our room to call him.

"Dinner is here" I said to him.

He nodded, acknowledging my words and I left the room. I served the food and started eating. I can't wait when food is in front of my eyes. Jungkook used to tease me for that but now, he doesn't even ask if I ate.
The sound of pulling the chair made me look at him. He sat and started eating the food which was on his plate. 

"This place makes good food," he stated, munching on the dumplings.
"Yes" I replied, chewing the dumplings.
Honestly this dumplings make me go crazy with their taste
"You look so happy today," he said.
What's with this new thing
"Ohh, I secured a contract today. But, I thought you can't see me," I replied.
Honestly I'm so pissed off right now.
"What do you mean y/n?" He asked.
"I thought you forgot that you have a girlfriend"
"Why do you think like that? Where are you trying to take this now?" He glared at me.
"Stop glaring, Mr.Jeon. Did you even talk to me for the past few weeks?" I clutched onto the table tightly.
"I was busy, okay? It's not like I did it intentionally" he defended himself.
"And you think that I'm free? I work for a company too but that doesn't mean that I'll ignore my boyfriend, act like he isn't here with me"
"Stop making a scene y/n. Can't you understand how stressed I was?" He shouted.
"Says the one who ignore me like a drama queen everyday" I huffed.

He stood up and took his plate with food to the sink. He dumped all the food into the waste bin and washed the plate. He wiped his hands and turned around where I was standing.

"You didn't have to waste my money like that," I said.
"Y/n please stop this. I'm not in any mood to argue now and I can pay you back for the food" he walked past me.
"Jungkook please don't do this. Every time you avoid the conversation with that 'tired right now' card" I pleaded.
My eyes were now tearing up and I didn't even care about that anymore.

"And what you do is cry all the time," he replied.
"I don't cry for unnecessary things like other girls. I feel like I'm losing you" I looked down.
"Losing? What are you saying y/n?" He was confused.
"Are you seeing someone, Jungkook?" I asked him.

His eyes widened hearing me. I was thinking about this for a few months and I want my answers now.

"What made you think this, y/n?" He came near me and held my chin.
"Did you see yourself? You are just using this shade to sleep and clean yourself. You stopped talking to me. You're not even replying to my messages. Do you remember my birthday?" I asked him.
He was silent, looking straight at me. I don't understand where he got such confidence.

"It was two weeks back. I kept waiting for you to at least wish me but you don't even remember it. Do you remember our anniversary which is on the same day?"
He didn't answer any of my questions.
Does he even care about anything related to me, now?

"I'm sorry y/n. I was stuck up with my work. I-I can make it up to you" he said.
"Work..work...work. F**k that Jeon. The girls out there are breaking up just because their partners don't pick up their call and here I am, waiting for my partner to take me on a date for one year" I yelled.
He was shocked to see me like this.
"One year?" He mumbled.
"Yes, one f**ng year. It's been one year since we went on a date" I replied.

He was taken aback by my confession. I didn't want to tell this cause I don't want him to get disappointed but now, I don't have any choice.

"Damn, I don't even care about those fancy dates. You didn't even check up on me when I was ill a few days back" I sobbed.
"Were you ill? When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me?" He asked with a face laced with concern.
"Cause someone was so busy that they ignored my presence, left home way before sunrise the next day" I scoffed.

He went calm. I didn't understand what he was thinking but all the pent up emotions in me came out now and I regret that.
Did I hurt him?

"I didn't know I was getting this far to you. I was working hard and I didn't realise you felt like this" he said.
"I miss you Jungkook. I miss your hugs, I miss those cute things you do for me, I miss our dates and movie nights. Though you don't talk or express much, I still understood you. But…" I looked down.

It was getting overwhelming. Even I'm not the extrovert type. We both talk or express less but I didn't stop loving or caring about him. I cared for him even though he didn't acknowledge me. I kept waiting for him even though he didn't show me any sign of his love.

"But you're getting more distant to me day by day. Jungkook, can you tell me one thing?" I asked him.
He nodded hastily
"Am I not enough for you? Did I lack in any way? Or do you like someone else now?"

He shook his head as he pulled me to his chest. I kept looking at him until he kissed my lips. The kiss was soft and filled with pain. It was almost after many months. I held his neck and kissed him back.
Oh God, how much I miss those lips.
He released the kiss and looked at me. He went back.

"I love you y/n. I love you so much. I fell so hard for you" he said.

It's the first time he ever said that. We were so close to ourselves that in our five years of relationship, we never said those three words to each other. He asked me out and that was the only time we said that we like each other. Though, at times I randomly tell him that I like him so much, those random times came thrice or four times a year.

"And I thought of proposing you to marry me. But…." He stopped.

Marriage? I really didn't expect that. I didn't even think that he took our relationship this seriously. With that behaviour of his, I thought he'd break up with me anytime soon and I even made my heart and mind ready to face that.

"But in this situation where we aren't sure about anything, I can't do that" he looked down
Why? Why can't he do. We can talk out and solve it now, right? What's wrong with it?
"We need to solve everything and I don't think I can do that now considering my work," he said.
"What are you meaning to say now?" I asked him.
He looked up at me and took a deep breath.
"I think we should take a break," he said.












Hard To Love Where stories live. Discover now