HIDE BEHIND ME

i loved you

I loved him.
I loved him with all my heart, but i wasn't able to show him - until now.

There's blood all around the floor. My blood. It's leaving my body like it was never supposed to be there and could finally escape.

I didn't even feel pain. Instead I felt a kind of satisfaction. Finally I could show him my feelings. Even tho the prize will be my life.

Mike Hanlon. The Boy I fell so deeply in love with that it was painful, because I knew I could never be with him in the way I wanted.

The only way I could be close to him was to bully him, hurt him. No matter how much I hurt myself with hurting him, I couldn't stop. Because in that way, i could be near him, look at him, imagine him to be my boyfriend.

But now I revealed my true feelings.
IT wanted to kill him, my love.
I could't let this happen, so I pushed him aside and got stabbed instead with ITs long spider-like legs.

Everything was getting blurry around me. I knew I only had a few moments left on this earth, but I wasn't scared at all. I felt a kind of happiness filling my insides.

My life wasn't good at all. My father raised me by his own on a farm, beating the shit out of me, if I did mistakes. His racist ass told me a thousand times how disgusting black people were and I believed him - until I met Mike Hanlon for the first time.

I felt butterflies in my stomach from the very first second. But how should I be supposed to be with such an angelic person, when I'm the son of a asshole and being one myself? Instead of trying to change and fight for what was important for me, I kept on going the way everyone expected me to go.

But then I heard the "Loser's Club" is going to fight this monstrous creature which is killing childreen and teens my age since months. I knew that Mike was part of the Loser's Club.

So I followed them.

I watched them from behind and when I noticed the danger racing towards Mike I couldn't stop myself. I just ran und jumped in his place.

My sight turns almost black, when I heard his voice.

"Are you insane?! Why the hell did you do this? Shouldn't you be happy to know us dead?!", he screamed near my face and I could feel his hands on my shirt.

I smiled - or at least tried.

"How... could... I.. want.. you.. to.. be... dead?", the words came out silently and I coughed - the metallic taste of blood on my tongue.

"That's what I'm asking you?! You're a fucking idiot, Henry Bowers! I hate you!", I thought he was crying saying these words to me, but I guess that was just my imagination. How could he be sad about my death? I made life for him a living hell, he should be doing dances of happiness.

"I... I Love you. I love you, Mike Hanlon", was the last thing I said before everything went black.

Henry Bowers was dead.
And Mike was sitting next to his side, holding Henry's damaged and blood covered shirt in his hands.

The other members of the Loser's Club were behind them, giving Mike the time he seemed to need.
They really couldn't believe the words Henry spoke before his soul left his body.

And since they're were standing a few meters behind them, they couldn't hear Mike whispering "I loved you too, dumbass" into Henry's ear, hoping there'd be a chance for him to hear it.

cover made by Mara_Green_