I cant bear the thought without them i dont know what to to if i should stay or not i knew it was gonna happen for so long they said it so many times but always said after that they are joking it doesn't mean it hurts "i dont love you" still rings through my head "she theis she that she she she" i know they did the pronoun thing on accident they would always fix iti still remember the way they laugh the way they smile the way when i pointed it out how they would try and cover it up so i couldn't see it the way their eyes looked when they were talking about something they loved they literally looked like a kid in the candy store this is they only way i can get it out writing it down their gonna miss me i know it everyone will ive already sent out my notes im just scared fir the afterlife what is awaiting me at deaths door i dont know it scares me so much and i dont know why cuz im not scared of the death part its just what comes after is it happy is it sad is there a heaven a hell is it being born again is it all just dark vast emptyness where your their to continue reliving your whole life who knows i just wish i could feel what i felt a couple days ago when you were still with me i knew as soon as you started growing distant you wanted to leave but i told myself you didn't i lied to myself to make me feel better i cried and cried the first hour of you leaving but it still hasn't ended i wish it could like all the others but it just wont leave my head all the i love yous are running around in my head all of the promises you made not to leave and us always being together are just gone YOU KNEW YOU WERENT STABLE ENOUGH FOR A RELATIONSHIP BUT YOU STILL GIT INTO ONE WITH ME i just need to go i dont know how im gonna go on for now i always stop crying after the first hour but your different your like a drug im addicted to you and i still fucking love you i know ive never felt my lips against yours or felt your arms around me but whenever i was talking to you i felt safe i felt i could finally be myself around someone and i didnt have to mirror their personality so this is just a goodbye to you and to all the people in my life ir anyone who has read my stupid story so goodbye and hopefully we meet again someday
