Hidden Scars

It has been a year, she thought, looking through the mirror showing a reflection of a girl she did not recognize; putting the black scarf back on the top of the mirror, she exits her room, stepping into the bleak beige halls of her family home.

The house was so quiet that she could even hear the sound of coffee dripping into the coffee pot. She shuffled down the wooden stairs and to the kitchen entrance, and her mother stood towards the coffee machine holding the marble countertop in her hands.

She walked over to the table, whispering a morning as she passed her mother, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw her mother's fingers clench the countertop tighter. Still not looking up, she hurries out of the kitchen.

" it's not your fault," the girl jumps, and she whirls around to see her father leaning at the kitchen doorway, giving a reassuring smile. The silent girl nods in acknowledgment, picks up a brown pleather bag under the mahogany table, points to her watch, and heads out the door.

The man sighs as he sees his daughter leaving, knowing full well that she has skipped school for months now. Rubbing his tired eyes, he turns and walks to the living room seeing his wife sitting on the light grey couch.

"you can't avoid her; she is your daughter, Kristy." the man was left in silence.

"Can you please just talk to her, or even look at her." he pleaded once again.

"for Christ, sakes kris, you are tearing that girl apart; she barely speaks anymore!" he yells, but the woman remains motionless. the man turns around, and as he reaches the front door, a strained voice of a woman makes him come to a stop. " she's a monster."

"no," the man states, "she is a child, she is your child," and with that, he walks out the door leaving his wife on the sofa.

The autumn wind splashes onto his face like ice water, and as he walks, he can hear the crinkling of the colourful leaves as he heads into the forest. As he steps on the path, he meets a fence with the no trespassing sign in bright yellow. Signing, he slips through the gate and continues. The smooth trail starts getting bumpy, and an almost chaotic beauty starts to form around it. The colourful flowers and bright green leaves or ferns are spread randomly throughout the forest, protected by the canopy of leaves the colour of fire, like its own little magical world protected from the outside. As he approached a clearing, the smell of a fire burning caught his interest.

He finds his daughter in the middle sitting on her brown bag with fire and carving a stick with a pocket knife he has never seen before. As she finished the strange wooden carving, she stared at it. Almost as if she was asking for something. Her grip tightens as he hears her quietly mumble, and as time goes on, the mumbling gets louder and louder until he finally hears the words in a heartbreaking cry from the girl.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, I'm sorry, sorry."

Slowly calming back down, the girl then puts the stick on the ground and calmly takes off her white blouse. Revelling her purple bra, she pulls it down slightly so that she can see the middle of her chest littered with little white lines. Taking a deep breath, she took the knife that was once carving the stick and pierced her skin, dragging the knife down her chest crimson blood follows. The feeling of weight slowly slid down with the blood, and the girl gasped, finally feeling the relief of being able to breathe correctly.

The man didn't take notice of the tears trickling down his cheeks and soaking into the fabric of his red tee-shirt; as he took a shaky step forward, he called his daughter's name. Her head whips at the sound of it, and she feels instant fear and anxiety start to replace the calm she was feeling.

Rushing towards his daughter, he falls on his knees and hugs her. The girl tensed as she felt her father's tears fall, and the sound of him whispering, it's okay over and over again made her eyes water, burying her head into her father's chest as they cried together in the firey forest.

Once home, the man told his daughter to go upstairs and pack a bag. Nodding, she walked up the stairs, and the man went to the living room seeing his wife in the same position he left her in.

"We have to talk," he demanded. The woman nodded as she continued looking at the beige wall in front of her." We're going to family therapy, all of us together," and the woman's head whipped towards him.

"I am not going to a shrink!" she exclaimed.

" oh yes, you are either that or me, and your daughter are leaving; we can not keep going like this. We are hurting each other and ourselves; we need help!" he threatened.

" that thing is not my child; it is a monster," she hissed

"she was only ten!" exclaimed the man; the woman stood up abruptly from the couch and stepped towards her husband as she barked, " she killed my son."

"no, kris, the wolves killed him," he hollered.

The woman took a step back and whispered, "she should have been there to protect him. protect him like a good sister should have"

The man sighed " I'm leaving, with my daughter if you want to come, you can. You have my number in case you ever want to become her mother again" she stood there wordless as he walked to the door and called out for his daughter. she came down the stairs with the brown bag hanging off her shoulder.

She looked towards her mother for the last time. Hoping that she would come with them that they could be a family again. It didn't matter what she did before as long as they were together now. But the women never looked towards them, only staring at the wall.

The girl held back tears and gripped the handle of her pack as she and her dad left the house that she grew up in, where they used to have picnics and birthday parties. She wished that her mother would come running out saying that it wasn't the girl's fault and that she still loved her, but it never came, and as her dad drove down the road in his blue truck, she looked in her lap and whispered an apology.

"Dad, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I tore you and mom apart if you just never had me...." she trailed off as tears ran down her cheeks. Her father looked over towards her.

"sweetheart, how many times do I have to tell you that it isn't your fault mom was the one who did that all on her own, and you are the most important person in my life? Don't ever forget that; I'm just sorry we didn't; leave sooner," the man reminds softly.

"it's okay," she says as she gives her dad a timid smile, and as the girl leaned back into the seat, she soon falls asleep to the sound of their truck's motor and soft music on the radio, hoping that they can live a happy life together, as a family.