Choices and Regrets - A Spiderchelle Short Story

Choices & Regrets

There were not a lot of choices Michelle had made in her life that she had come to regret. She prided herself in her ability to really think through her options, to analyse the pros and cons and was pretty much always confident which the choice she then picked.

But lying to Peter on the bridge was proving to be a big mistake.

"Were you only watching me because you thought I was Spider-man?"

Her heart began to beat rapidly and she knew he could hear it. Her brain began to speed through her choices but it was too fast and he was looking at her and the words fell out of her most.

"Of course. Why else would I be watching you?"

She regretted it as soon as the words fell from her mouth. His expression changed, kind of hardened in a sorrowful manner. She wanted to tell him differently because she had the undeniable feeling that he wanted a different answer too. But he opened his mouth before she could,

"It doesn't matter. I just thought-"

And then shit went down.

Following the incident, she had hoped he'd bring the topic back up, but they both seemed to be avoiding it. They sat on the plane on the way home together, but he was wrecked from his battle with Mysterio so she thought it would have been selfish.

When they returned to Queens, it was like the spell was broken. He waved goodbye to her and she went her own way.

In the weeks following their return, she weighted up different ways she could talk to Peter about how he was making her feel. It was particularly hard when they were sitting in class and he'd answer the teacher's questions, perfectly of course, and then blush when they'd praise him. Or when his hair was windblown after a particularly windy day. Or when he'd laugh at one of Ned's stupid jokes. All these things and more kept her simultaneously quiet and also screaming aloud in her head to just grab his face and kiss him like she'd been dreaming of for, embarrassingly, years.

She realised pretty quickly that she didn't have the courage to be the person to initiate the conversation and she figured Peter was either a) oblivious or b) equally as embarrassed about the prospect. Usually seeing another's lack of confidence was the motivator she needed to be the strong person in the dynamic, but for some reason, it just wasn't working here. No, instead, the only way she could think to get the topic broached was to drop hints that she really really gave a damn about him.

It started with little things like bringing extra snacks with her to school for Ned and Peter both. Ned's favourites were Sour Patch Kids while Peter's were MnM's, the peanut ones. Then she began to offer to help Peter with his homework after it became apparent that his superhero identity was affecting his grades.

"Isn't that like, illegal?" he had asked as he popped another MnM into his mouth.

"Come on," she shrugged. "We all know you're a genius and you'd be capable of the homework if you had the time but you don't and I do so it makes sense don't you think?"

"You think I'm a genius?" he smiled shyly at her, cheeks blushing red and her brain took a mental screenshot to go along with her many others.

"Shut up," she smacked him on the arm with her textbook. "But yes. So let's come to an agreement alright? I'll do your homework but you just need to make sure you read through it so you still get an education."

"I don't want to add any pressure on you, MJ," he said with his beautiful warm eyes softening.

"Pfft," she hid behind her curly hair so he couldn't see her reddening cheeks. "I'm a badass, remember?"