Solanda

How all started

The nice picture I use is from potatoes_one_direction, I love her page, check it out

Yohonda pov:

I was nominated for the "worst human of all time award" because I was being racist, so dumb. Like literally this is my lifestyle and it's so disrespectful to disrespect it, duh.
Anyways, I wanted to win. I always win. No matter what the competition is about, if it's ruining your daughter's relationship or ruining the life of Zayn Malik. I ALWAYS WIN.
If I wouldn't win my name wouldn't be yohanda the dutch slut hadidnt.

Cowbell pov:
I was nominated for the "worst human of all time" award cuz I apparently would be homophobic whatever this should be.
But I wanted to win, cuz this is what I do. It was kind of obvious that I'm going to win. I pissed Directioners off because I would be too obsessed with the boys. At least I don't fangirl all night for a band that doesn't exist anymore.
Nevermind.

No one's pov:
Moderator: And the winner of the worst human being of all time award is the one and only-
Uhm I think there is a mistake-
Yolanda: of course there is a mistake, they let a Chinese read it
Simon: and for sure she's gay-

Yohonda pov:
And there was the moment it hit me, just as I did accuse Zayn to do it... I realized it was time to divorce my 3rd man and start something with Simon.
He was so beautiful his eyes looked just like dirt and my poo.

This was the moment I knew he is the one for me, we share the same opinion.
And we both hate the Malik kid.

Simon pov:
This was the moment I knew she is the right for me, I knew I have to separate myself from my wife, I have a lot of experience in that area, I'm the man who separated gays tho.
She was so beautiful and kind of reminded me of Kris Jenner.

So I walked up to her

S: hey 👉👈
I was so shy so I shit myself in the pans
Y: hello 👉👈
She replied
Y: can I help you somehow?
Omg what should I say now? I didn't know what to say. Fuck, duck, dick, "suck ma dick" I said
Y: okay
And she did it, the 2,56 cm perfectly fit in her big mouth.

Yohonda pov:
He walked to me, oh my fucking WHITE God.
Not even a minute later I had his huge dick in my mouth and it tasted like garbage apples with mayonnaise and chilly. ✨🥰

Then the lesnise came back on the stage
Yk cuz she's lesbian and Chinese 🤮

No one's pov:
Moderator: I'm sorry for that, there were a couple of ambiguities but it's tied. So we have to winners "honda Hadid" for being a body-shaming racist who is homophobic and was so jealous of her kids cuz they were able to keep a partner so she had to ruin the relationships while being a sexist. And the second person is "Simon cowbell" I think that is self-explaining.

Simon and Yolanda both run up to the stage to get the price. It was a big piece of shit, cuz they are shit. Afterwards they went to the hotel, where both signed the divorce papers and then they did eat the shit.

—————————
Hope you liked the chapter and don't forget it's always #solanda <3