𝓡𝓔𝓜𝓔𝓜𝓑𝓔𝓡 𝓜𝓔?

Chapter One

After being with someone for a long time, its hard to imagine what life would be like without them. After youve familiarized yourselves with someone for a while, its hard to readjust back to the way things were before them. After talking to the same person every day for a long period of time, its hard to get used to not having a conversation with them anymore.

After being around the same person all the time for a good length of time, its hard to get used to not seeing them stand beside you anymore. After sharing so many memories with someone special, its hard to move forward with your life and act like all of it never happened. After loving someone for as long as you can remember, its hard to try to get over those feelings and act like they arent there. I guess thats why its hard to forget and move on after theyve been a part of your life for so long.

Thats where Stiles problem lays. He has honored Dereks wishes for a year now. The moment he got himself together the night Derek left he was planning to make a deal, or find a way to get his mate back. But Peter made Stiles realize that Derek didnt want that. Derek didnt want him, the pack, or anyone else trying to get him back. Sti also considered Cass taking his memories, or at least most of them. But he couldnt bring himself to do it. Has he tried to move on with his life? Yes, but, he just cant. So, he puts on a fake smile for the pack and his cousins, then he breaks down all alone.

And now, a year later Stiles is still hurt, heartbroken, and a mess more than ever.

He tried grieving; he really did. He thought it would be easier since he already lost his mother, father, and Allison. But Derek... Its like he cant breathe anymore.

*Flash Back*

Stiles had to be alone that night. Losing his boyfriend, his mate... He just needed to be alone and process that. With tears steadily streaming down his face, he drives to their favorite spot; the lookout point. He arrived and parked his jeep. Stumbling out he sat at the edge.

"I want to cry." Stiles said to the stars, in between sobs.

He imagined the stars saying, "so cry. I will listen."

And Stiles is crying, hes been crying all day, non-stop, but he still wants to cry. This didnt feel like crying. Its just tears straining down on his cheeks, sobs that echos to no one, a heart that breaks silently, without anyone knowing.

"I want to cry." He says again. "I want to cry and shout and scream at the top of my lungs. I want Derek to see me as I break into pieces, I want him to know my soul shatters because of him, I want him to feel every fucking hurt he has caused me. I want to cry. I want him to see me cry, and I want him to put his arms around me, and tell me 'Its okay babe, Im still here, I wont ever leave you, Im here, Im here, Im here.' Until I fall asleep in his arms with his soothing words echoing in my dreams."

~

After Stiles' alone time at the look out point, he went back to the pack house. He couldn't sleep at the Wincher's house. Stiles needed to feel close to Derek.

"Isn't that Derek's jacket?" kira asked.

"Yeah. Derek left it here for him. Stiles always talked about stealing it." Scott smiled at the memories. "I guess sleeping with it helps Stiles heal and sleep."

*End of Flashback*

Present Day-

"Why don't we just offer up someone else to take Derek's place?" Malia asked the pack.

"Tried that, Crowley wouldn't take me." Stiles said as if it wasn't a big deal.

"You what!?" Scott shouted.

"Or, maybe you are not what Crowley wants." Peter chimed in.

Stiles' face lit up, "I should be offended, but maybe you're right. We need to find someone to offer to Crowley that he absolutely wants and can't refuse." He says without taking a breath. "I could kiss you right now."

"Please don't." Scott says scrunching up his nose in disgust.

"I don't think that's what Peter meant." Boyd tells him.

Jackson smirks, "I say we offer Peter."

Lydia nods, "I second that."

"I'm right here," Peter mocked hurt.

Everyone teases Peter, their relationship has improved from where it begun. They trust him now.

"Or we could just talk to him as see what he wants." Erica suggest.

"Good idea, I'll call him."

Twenty minutes later Crowley finally showed up.

"It's about time." Stiles proclaimed.

Crowley rolled his eyes, "sorry princess I'm a busy man. Things to do, hell to run."

"We want Derek back." Stiles said getting to the point.

"I told you I can't do that."

Stiles scoffs. "You're the king of hell, you can do whatever you please, so, cut the bullshit. What do you want in return?"

Crowley sighed, "you are not going to give up, are you?"

Stiles smiled proudly, "nope." Popping the 'p.'

Crowley thought for a moment then said, "fine. I'll give you your precious boyfriend back. But in exchange you will owe me a favor when the time comes."

"Deal."

"What? We aren't even going to talk about this as a pack?" Scott asked concerned.

"Scott, dude, this is our one chance at getting Der back. I'm taking it."

"What if there is consequences." Scott stated more than asked.

"There could be. But we will deal with them if it happens." Stiles told him.

"So, do we have a deal?" Crowley asked looking between the two young men.

"Yes, we do. Right, Scott."

Scott hesitated but agreed. "Fine. But when this blows back on us-"

Stiles cut his best friend off, "It will be my choice and my consequences alone." Stiles looked back to Crowley. "Please just bring him back now."

Crowley smirked and snapped his fingers, Derek appeared.

Stiles and Derek's eyes met and suddenly he forgot how to breathe.

"Pleasure doing business with you." And with that, Crowley left.

Everyone ran hugged the man. Everyone but Stiles, he can't seem to move.

After the pack backed off to give Derek some space Stiles finally ran and hugged his mate. "It's really you."

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Derek asked the strange boy who was hugging him.