Warm feelings

I could hear their voices outside of the box. Wondering if it worked. I hope it didn't, but I can feel it in my body that it did. I just want to go back to my bed. My warm, cozy bed instead of this freezing hell. I've heard that some realms of hell are freezing. Maybe I've already gone on. Maybe it is the real hell I'm in? No, it can't be. I can still hear their voices, but they sound more panicked now. My body is starting to be able to move around in the container. It doesn't last long and I can feel it getting colder again. Fuck.

I know my brain will probably connect out along with the rest of my body soon. I never wanted to be here. I want to go back home. I want to go back home and be with them. I want to feel their warm hands around me. Pressing me into their soft chest. Just holding me there. I need them now. Telling me that everything is going to be okay. I already know it won't, but I need to hear it from them.

Why had they taken me? There must have been better suited people to do this to. People that would have done this of their own free will. So why force me? I'm not physically capable. I'm not strong. My health isn't the greatest. It isn't that bad either. But I'm simply not in prime condition.

I wanted to sing a song in my head before my mind turned off to calm myself down. It was weird how my heart didn't beat very fast. But it beat so slowly I could barely feel it. I tried to touch my chest with my hand to feel it better. It didn't move. I don't know if I was relieved or scared that I couldn't. I just wanted it to be over with. Maybe my brain would turn off any minute now.

The voices outside of the box started cheering. They had done it, they said. They had managed a cryogenic freezing. But they haven't. I was still conscious. I tried banging on the walls and shouting. Nothing moved. Nothing happened. I was trapped in this small container. Conscious, but not able to do anything. Just me and my thoughts alone. No, this wasn't hell. This is so much worse.

I just hope they made it through it all without me there. That they found someone new to say I love you. I have been here a long time now. I lost track of time after 10 years. The scientists have stopped coming down here so the calendar hasn't been changed in a long while. I will probably have to spend all of eternity in this box. But I still have a small quiver of hope that someday I will get out, but it's getting smaller each day. I keep clinging tight to it, knowing it's the only thing keeping the insanity at bay. But I don't know how long I can take it. Please. Help me.