Always In Between (Rated R)

Always In Between

WARNING: This story will be Rated R After running away from a horrible past, Jaxlin Montgomery is running into a complicated future. Finding love and safety comes with a price. Trying to balance herself from the past and future, her true home world and the only world she knows, truth and lies, real and fake, and love and hate. As everything collides, will she find her way through or will she always be in between?

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Jaxlin's P.O.V

'I can't do this shit anymore,' I thought as I threw the few outfits and shoes I intended to bring in my duffle bag. I know that he'll be back to check on me in 4 hours but I'll be long gone by then. How can they call themselves my family when all my mother does is get high and leaves me for weeks, in this case months, -though when she is around it's like she isn't- and all my brother does is hit me and makes me help with his drug deals? As for my father, I guess I'm like most americans out there because he's dead. I don't really remember him, I just know I loved him. My grandmother thought he could do no wrong, the only wrong thing he did was fall for my mother, she's hopeless and doesn't care for anyone, not even herself. I will never understand how you could treat your family like that. This is the reason I would never want to make a family, though I doubt anyone would want to start one with someone as fucked up as me.

I stare in the mirror looking for something that hasn't been criticized constantly and I see nothing. I have natural red hair that is so malnourished that it looks burgundy versus the bright red it is when it's clean and strong. I also have high cheek bones, pretty but dry lips and a cute nose. My greenish hazel eyes are dull, dark and lifeless yet still look odd against my light, brown skinned complexion, though my skin looks pale from lack of nutrition. My body is slim with c-cups and a round ass that wont get any smaller even though my body is unhealthy. I don't think I'm that bad looking though, but everything else makes me a lost cause. I always look horrible during school breaks because I'm around my brother, Trent, more who beats me often when I'm around because he hates me that much. I look at the crack in the mirror that broke the day Trent threw me against it.

That day I was stupid enough to come home late from school, hoping he wouldn't be waiting for me. I walked into the house to find the living room empty and as foolish as I know it was, I thought that he wouldn't know I was late. So I went up stair to my room to find Trent sitting on my bed, but by that point it was too late. I had already closed my door and put my things away and was, by then on the other side of my small room.

He watched me carefully, as if looking for something in particular, his dark eyes taking in my body and it really started to frighten and confuse me. He has dark hair with light brown eyes that are cold. I wanted to ask him what was going on or say something sarcastic like I usually would but I wasn't stupid, I knew how that would turn out and since I was already late, I didn't need to add fuel to the fire, so I stayed there and waited quietly, knowing that this time was different.

After about 3 minutes that felt like thirty, a slow smile spreads across his handsome, sinister face. I wanted to take a step back but knew better, never show fear. He slowly stood up and made his way towards me and I honestly wished my room was bigger so it would take a while to get to me but he was a few inches from me in seconds. I watched as he lifted his hand and stroked my cheek, which felt like insects crawling down my face.

"Hello, mi querida," he said softly.

"Hi, Trent," was all I could say because I was so nervous and a little on edge.

He looked at me for a second obviously noticing this because his eyes sparkled before asking, "where have you been, Jaxlin?"

"I had to stay after school to get a book for a project," I whispered.

At that point his smirk was long gone and his eyes were narrowed on me.

"Your lying. You've been whoring around haven't you?" He asked in a dark intimidating voice.

Confused and scared, I whispered, "no, of course, not."

"Yes you have, I can tell. Gosh, you're just like mom," he stated as he reached out toward me and grabbed my neck hard, choking me as I tried to tell him I was not lying.

But then he said something that had me shaking in fear, anger and disgust.

"That's what you want to be, right, a whore? Well I'll treat you like one."

And he started to pull at my clothes. I refused to let that happen so I started to kick and scream. I kicked him hard in the stomach and balls and he dropped me, calling me a bitch. As soon as I touch the door he pulled me up and swung me by the hair hard and I flew into the mirror. He followed through kicking and hitting me until he was satisfied.

As I laid on the floor whimpering and crying, I heard him say, "Don't go any fucking where until I say so and I will get what is mine, you are mine. Don't forget that." And he left me there of the ground.

Usually I would fight back, I rarely ever let him see me weak. We both took classes in kickboxing and krav maga but, because he is stronger and more healthy, he usually beats my ass. Our fights tend to be horrible because he is set on trying to break my spirit as well as harming me.

That was a week ago and today he said tomorrow's the day, when he brought me food earlier and though it'll be my birthday I know what he meant. I refuse to spend the eve of my birthday and new years that way and I know if he does what he plans, he will break my spirit, so I have to be gone.

I wiped my tears and grabbed my bag, then went to my closet and lifted my floor board to grab my money that I've been saving for the past 3 years and all my legal papers that he doesn't know I have, with the box my grandmother gave me before she died that no one knows about because she knew my so-called family would definitely try to get it. The money she left me is enough to survive off of for years and because tomorrow's my birthday I'll be legal to get the bulk that I cant while I'm 17. She said that the box holds something important and to not open the bottom of it until I feel completely safe.

I also grabbed the rest of my weed, my pictures, and my gun that I've had since I was 15 when I started dealing and doing runs. My best friend, Brett, gave it to me a week before he got killed when he was 16, after that I kept to myself. I couldn't deal with building another friendship, for them to be taken from me. He knew everything about me and I loved him.

Putting everything in my bag and take the nails out of the window, which took like 10 minutes, I climb out of the fire escape.

Once I'm outside, I catch a cab to take me to the bus station. I look for the farthest place out of here and I'm now going south. As it pulled out, I surprisingly feel a smile on my face, which I haven't felt in at least a year, it feels so foreign all I can do is shake my head and go to sleep, excited to wake up to a new beginning.