Destiel Oneshots

Figuring it Out {Destiel}

I'm not sure how happy with this I am, but I started writing it in May so I think it's time for me to just time for me to post it... I hope you enjoy!

- AU // Autistic Cas // Domestic fluff -

The sound of his breathing rang through his head the way an exploding bomb may. Loud, if not utterly deafening. Each inhale he made burned against his ears, and each exhale tightened his chest, the blur of noises only raising his bubbling emotions. The feeling was all too familiar as the exhaustion began to drag him down and the conversations around him became unclear.

Cas knew it would come, it hadn't been a matter of if, but when the stimulation would become too much for his brain to process. Even before Jack's adoption, things had been overwhelming. He'd lost track of all the hours he'd spent talking to various social workers and adoption agencies, spending the whole time mimicking Dean, the tone of his voice, the expressions across his face, anything in hopes for people to like him. Then there had been the emotions, half which he couldn't even describe, and the constant change in schedule, and the uncertainty which always lingered in the back of Cas's mind.

Things had become so overwhelming, most days getting out of bed had become a struggle.

Even after adopting Jack, things didn't get better and as the time passed Cas knew it was only a matter of time before he collapsed.

It's why he hadn't wanted a baby shower, or adoption party, or whatever his sister had decided to call it, but Anna refused to take no for an answer. 'You threw me two," she'd argue any time Cas told her she didn't have to. 'But you like parties', he'd try to argue back. Anna wouldn't listen and instead begin planning the guest list or ask whether he preferred vanilla cake or chocolate.

Talking filled the room.

His nieces and nephews' screams echoing from down the hall.

The living room lights humming above.

The material of his father's couch tearing across the palms of his hand, as he raised it to cover his yawn. From next to him Dean laughed, then said something that Cas couldn't make out. His head slowly turned to next to his left, where Dean and Anna were sat next to him, Jack cradled Dean's arms.

"He's so cute," Anna cooed as Jack grinned up at her. Cas agreed, Jack was a very cute baby, but the words stayed stuck in his throat, and instead he sharply inhaled as Anna began saying something else he couldn't fully understand. Even if he did understand it wouldn't be audible over the sound of a screeching chair that filled the room, followed by footsteps and the clattering of silverware.

"He's been great," Dean said, his face lightening up, "hell I think he's cried twice so far."

Anna smiled back. "You're lucky, when I had Jasper all he did was scream I couldn't put him down to pee and Kelsie wasn't any better."

Dean laughed and Cas sharply inhaled.

He looked away, to the couch across from them where Sam, Gabriel and Eileen were sat.

Signing and talking.

Moving.

The lights glaring above.

Laughing.

His heart hammering.

His breathing shallow.

The lights buzzing through his head.

He needed it to stop. He needed everything to just stop.

Dean pressed a hand to his shoulder and Cas froze."I missed a-" Sam laughed from across the room, and Cas inhaled, "-hold Jack?"