mixed feelings .

the first time meeting

it was the first day of school, nothing much. it was like he already knew everybody. he was the popular kid, he was the class clown. he was the kid that always talked in class. heres the thing, i only had one class with him and we never talked to eachother. until the month after that. the whole time in class we would just be staring at eachother, making weird faces, or me laughing and telling my friends about how cute he was. i had this friend, she was probably my best friend at the time, supposedly he had a crush on me. he asked my best friend for my number and randomly he called me. it was night time, and we probably talked all night. i asked him how he got my number and he told me that she gave it to me, but then she said that he asked for it. i believed her. anyways he said all this stuff about me. we said "i love you" and we flirted. he also talked about how pretty i was. and honestly i fell in love instantly. no one had ever shown me that sort of affection and it made me so happy.

then we got in a big argument. the next day we planned to hug and talk to eachother and what he did shattered me. i tried to talk to him and he acted like i was a nobody. he acted like i was a weirdo. he told me he was just bored. i had probably thought about it all day. it distracted me from everything, i couldnt even do my school work. i was just thinking about that moment.

i got onto the bus later about to get dropped off at my house, he texted me making an excuse and he said "im just not ready for a relationship" but heres the thing.. i never said i wanted to get with him? then later on he asked me if we could call and then he asked me "tomorrow can you give me a hug. but where we're alone" i said "okay i guess?" it never happened. but i probably needed that hug more than he did.