Vent

Feels

Isn't it weird how you are always there for people but when you need them they are nothing but dust in their tracks?

Finding out a loved one was hurt in something that happened before you wer born is something to take in, you would never want that to happen to them yet it happened and you couldn't do anything about it.

Being 13 having to go to school the day after. November 3rd, 2021

You can receive news that change your life and taunt you forever. You want to cry but you feel empty. Like water in a cup, yet nothing falls out. But silently the cup is broken slowly leaking the pain that it feels from having the water there for so long.  When the cup over flows the water spills.

I wanted to spill.

Knowing what they went through hurt so much.

Pain in my heart is all i felt.

School, friends, family, it was all going down at the same time and so was I.  In th bus three days straight of just crying. I couldn't cry in public because if I did they would ask what's wrong and... They wouldn't see me or my family the same. Putting on a big fake smile in place of stained eyes and my voice crying out in despair.

The person I was always there for was not there for me even when they promised. They knew I was hurting and yet... They gave no fucks.

Heh.... I still help them because they are my friend of course. And I love them regardless.  But she was pissed off at me for some reason and... I couldn't any more. I broke down in the middle of the school. Right after they left on their bus. How do i know they were pissed? I gave them a jacket a week earlier and they kept it.  They left it right there on the table.

I wanted to leave it, throw it away, but to no avail I took it. Cried on the bus. Pretending like nothing happened.

She knew I was in pain.

No sleep

No food

No energy

No talking

Just glossy eyes and dry mouth

They texted me like it was a normal day.
She was mad, mad at her boyfriend.
Nothing to do with me but she took it out on me not knowing my situation.