if you read this it's ur fault not mine

I don't want to choose...

This is based off my oneshot book, check it out!

TWs-------

Yelling

Violence

Mentioned suicide

[is that all???]

     It was a hot summer day in August. Ranboo rather it be hot than rainy, however. He always had to stay inside on those days, and watch the others dance in the rain and splash in puddles. 

He was 9.

     People didn't like to hang around him often. They said the way he looked was scary. Ranboo didn't think he was scary. His mom said he wasn't scary, so it must be true. Mother always knew best for him, after all.

Right?

     He didn't have real friends, except for around five people he liked to hang around. The only thing about these people, was that none of them liked each other...

     Two of them always hung out, and invited Ranboo to tag along. It seemed more like forcing and dragging him along, though. 

     The other three were best friends. He hung out with them a lot more than group 1, and group 1 used this to guilt trip him into hanging out with them.

     He felt like they didn't treat him like he had feelings. The two groups often pulled on either sides of his arms, really hard. It hurt. It seemed like they were fighting a silent battle over him, but never did they listen to him when he begged them to stop. They were all to focused in their personal grudges against each other.

     Ranboo never said anything about it. He knew if he did, they would get really sad and mad and then hate him. Plus, somebody from group 2 lived right next to him, so it was practically impossible for him to avoid being friends.

      Ranboo met two people who were really nice to him. Although they would never understand him and the situation he was in, they always cheered him up. The groups didn't seem to have any problem with them. But these two people also thought he was best friends with everybody in both groups, so there was no room for him to even think to tell them how he truly felt.

      He continued to hang out with them and acted like nothing bothered him. Ranboo didn't say anything if they hit him, yelled at him, ignored him, or humiliated him. Two of the people in either group was really sensitive about this stuff, and would cry or tell a teacher if he so much as said the word 'no'. He hated making people cry. In fact, he would rather stay with them forever than make anyone shed a single tear.

The next school year started.

      His 10th birthday passed. He had wanted to spent it alone, but of course he couldn't tell his mother that. She was completely unaware of his feelings, Ranboo didn't want to bother her with it. He continued to lead her to believe they were the best friends and neighbors he could have ever asked for.

January rolled around.

     Ranboo kept all of his feeling inside a notebook that had a cover that looked like a super dumb comic, so nobody would look inside of it.

     He started writing poems describing his life in order. Ranboo found it enjoyable, and wrote one almost every day. He even made a playlist that he listened to while he wrote. They calmed him down, and reminded him he would be free of his 'friends' eventually.

     He decided to break contact with them when he got older. He would make a new life, new family, new friends, and a new home... And he would confess to his mom and then bring her along too, of course.