𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 ╰► 𝙇𝙊𝙊𝙆𝙄𝙎𝙈 (𝘻𝘰𝘮𝘣𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘶)

↱ 𝙁𝘼𝙏𝙀

𝗺𝗰'𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘃

My life was not very bad neither was it very great, my life had always been what people would call normal. well none the less i was happy and content with my life. i went to a good school, had many friends, had two loving parents, had loving younger siblings. i knew my life wasn't perfect but it was still good i was happy. so it did hurt me a bit when that life suddenly came to an end. i didn't know why i died to suddenly so quickly...was it my fate to die like that? was it fate that a young kid whom i had never seen in my neighborhood before suddenly came out of nowhere and pushed me on the street? was it fate that at the exact moment when i was pushed a truck which had lost it's balance came out of nowhere? maybe i am overthinking maybe i was supposed to die that day anyways but i still had my regrets. i couldn't get into the university i wanted to study in, i couldn't move to the country i had always wanted to move to, i couldn't even get a bf before dying like this. with all these thoughts in my head, there lied my body helplessly at the center of the street with all it's limbs twisted and blood pouring out of my head as i slowly give into the eternal slumber that was looming over me knowing i was never gonna wake up.

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𝗸𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝗷𝗶𝗮'𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘃

again today again i can feel the pain slowly building up in my chest. its hurts it hurts it hurts. when will this end? when will i finally be free? when? what did i do to deserve this? why? my tears won't stop why won't they stop? i am tired of being so weak why am i so weak both mentally and physically. my chest hurts it feels like it's gonna explode, my heart feels like it's gonna explode. i can't help but cry it's worse today.

❝ 𝘶𝘨𝘩 ❞, a cry leaves my mouth as i put hands over my mouth to stop myself from making another noise but yona suddenly barged in the room i was lying in.

❝ 𝘪 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘢 𝘤𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺? ❞, she asked with nothing but worry in her eyes. why is she worried about me? im not even her family. well even if i was her family why would she be worried about me? no one has ever been worried about me but her she's definitely different.

❝ 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 ❞, my voice came out weakly even when i tried to sound strong. i feel like today i will finally be free of this cursed body, finally i will be able to leave everything behind finally.

taking a sharp breathe i look at yona who slowly made her way towards me. what is she doing disregarding her master's order but again did she ever listened to me before anyways.

❝ 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴...𝘸𝘩𝘺? 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨? ❞, she looked at me with worrisome eyes which had tears filled in it now. idiot  !! idiot why are you crying? i am no one to you. stop crying idiot  !! looking at her face even more painful cries escaped my lips no matter how much i tried to stop them they kept coming out.

yona held my hands tightly as she started crying with me it's as if she knew that i was gonna disappear forever today. as if she knew today she will lose her short tempered master forever. holding each other's hands tightly we cried together soon my painful cries became louder as my hands automatically clutched my heart, it hurts so much what do i do...ah what do i do? now the only things coming out of my mouth were screams of pain and agony. why must i die like this? why must god make me suffer like this? why?

looking around my room the only person i could see was yona who was now a crying mess. this was a silent night as the only sounds that filled the surroundings were my painful screams and yona's painful cries. maybe because it was my last moments maybe because i was dying but i started thinking of people for whom i meant nothing.

parents are blessing any child can have but that is only when the parents actually act like parents to the child and if not then it is the most painful chain that binds a child to a life full of pain agony and desire to be loved by the parents. my parents were the second kind, never in 17 years of life had i ever seen them being nice to me or seen them loving me. they loved each other so much then why did they treat me as if i didn't exist? was it because i wad born with a death date fixed? or was it because i had a disease that slowly started to eat my soul just the day i was born? maybe it was because i was a gloomy child who was most of the times if not always bedridden? well it didn't matter now seeing how they never even came to see me in the last 5 years of me living in seoul. never did they ever once asked me if i was in pain when i had been suffering from this disease all these years. whenever i cried in front of them because of the pain all i saw were eyes looking at me with hatred and disappointment. maybe that's how i got the habit of trying to hold back my cries. no matter how much they hated me i still liked them, they were my parents how can i stop liking them.

❝ 𝘥-𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘳 𝘧-𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤-𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥? ❞, i hoped, i hoped with all my heart for once just for once for the answer to be yes but the hope just shattered like a glass falling on the floor when yona slowly shook her head. of course i knew the answer already that's why i hopee, i hoped for a miracle but i don't think miracles ever happened in my life.

maybe this is what my fate was to be born with death already looming over my head. to be never able to receive my parents love. to just die like this. oh lord! i pray to you, i pray to you to give my yona a better life when i die. she was with me all these years when no one was. she's the only one who showed me love and sympathy. oh lord! don't let her meet a miserable end like i did.

❝ 𝘴-𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘢.... ❞, with those words the life left my body as my body lied lifelessly on the bed. maybe watching me lose my life like this shocked yona too much as she suddenly became silent with tears still coming out of her eyes without stopping.

❝ 𝘯-𝘯𝘰 𝘯𝘰 𝘯𝘰 𝘯𝘰 𝘕𝘖 𝘕𝘖 𝘞𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘜𝘗 𝘞𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘜𝘗 𝘗𝘓𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘌 ❞, maybe yona was losing her mind now, shouting and screaming at her master's lifeless body in hope, hoping her master would suddenly wake up, wake up and shout at yona irritatedly telling yona she can't scream at her master like she always used to do but hope meant nothing now. not when she knew her master will never be back now ever. to say if she resented people who did wrong to her master was an understatement. yona felt anger resentment hatred pain agony madness, all these emotions at once but she couldn't do anything, not now and not ever she's too weak without her master, after all how can someone be strong when their other half is gone forever.

the night indeed was silent because it seemed like only one person's painful cries filled the whole city. is this what fate is? yona's fate was her master and now after her master is gone maybe yona's fate ended here too.

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