what if...

What if...

What if I had gone a different road.

What if I hadn't cut my hair.

What if i hadn't yelled at her.

What if i hadn't stopped talking to them.

What if I had gotten away sooner.

What if I hadn't been born.

What if...it's that one simple yet complicated question everyone asks. The one question everyone has on their mind. The constant nagging of 'what if I had done this instead'. It brings on so many answers, and everybody's is different. 

Some people think it is a matter of fate, others think it is a probability. Chance, with no meaning behind it. But I've never seen fate as something set in stone. 

It was never something 'destined' to be. Fate wasn't the road ahead, it was the road you were creating. It was the present, or past when you looked behind. There were some cracks, some weeds poking through. But the road was still usable. 

Fate was never something to avoid. It's not like you can stop time. People always say, "it was fate; it was meant to be". 

Who said that's what fate was? 

I've never thought fate was set in stone...even destiny is always changing. How can fate be this, one way, cleared out path, when there is always the possibility that you could have chosen something else. 

People use fate as a sort of leash, or maybe even a crutch. 'What if I had done this instead; well I suppose it doesn't matter. It must have been fate.' And while in sense it was, fate isn't what drives the world, no matter how much people try and make it so. 

The world is ever changing, ever moving. It will continue to go round even if you are no longer on it. And of course it will one day come to an end, but everything does. With everything that has a beginning, it also has an end. 

Even the universe cannot be infinite, no matter how it sits in our minds. It is in everything's destiny to end. But destiny is not a simple thing either. 

And even if the world still goes on when you are gone, that does not make you insignificant. Everybody is somebody. And that somebody is built and shaped throughout lifetimes. 

We are never set in stone either. We are ever changing. A person is not born one way or another. When we first come into this world we are filled with wonder, filled with curiosity. We don't have our own fate yet. 

It is in our nature to be this way. We learn to speak, to walk, to eat, we learn our habits, our very ways of being, from those around us. The people we are with is what shapes us. 

That can be either good or bad. 

It is all a matter of perspective. Everything is really. 

We are taught our whole lives that villains are villains and heroes are heroes. There was never an in between. It is only now, as we are getting older, that we realize not everything is so black and white. 

Even then, not everybody changes. Some people choose the black and white, it is considered the easier option. And some who realize, wish they could go back. 

But a person can't go back. They can't change fate. They cannot stop a non-existent destiny. 

There is no real 'what if'. Everybody will have their doubts, of course, but there is no way to stop that. 

The questions with 'what if' tend to be rather useless ones. Questions filled with anxiety, as well as many other things society would like to deny. 

But denial does not make them disappear. Many people have to learn that the hard way. The constant nagging is something we all have to learn to live with. Whether we want to or not. I suppose it is worth it in the end though. Many people learn from these questions, even though they hardly ever realize it.

 So if you've made it this far, there is something I wonder about you. What is it that made you read all this, what is your, 'what if....' ?