your obliviousness is unparalleled (liu qingge x shen qingqiu)

OO1

No, maybe he perhaps was just too delirious and cruel to his own good.

Maybe, he shouldn't have. He callously buried his face deeper into his palms.

Sure, maybe he hadn't been welcoming since times immemorial; sure, maybe he'd been mordant with everyone he once rendezvoused, but it's alright since there had been exceptions, right? Eyebrows twitching and mouth itching to rasp out a scream, he wants to rest, once and for all.

The unscrupulous assistance of betrayal. If his endeavors were ever unraveled, he wouldn't hesitate to qi deviate, which (uncharacteristically and) wholeheartedly contravened the adamant convictions he firmly believed.

Still, his mind was willing, though his heart wasn't.

Surely, once treading beyond the depths of this, the results of success aren't that stringent, right? But he knew the answer, deep down he knew the answer, but he placated it in hopes of forbidding the act of denting his own exalted pride.

("Pride," he repeated, words echoing as if it was all some stupid fallacy, the figurine of a fatuous mortal. The blanket of silence never was dismissed.

"Stupid sophistry." He finally completed. "Stupid.")

When all words subsided and surfaced to the tip of his tongue, brushing upon every harsh edge as if wanting for more, craving for everything rough and pleasant – then it all came out. All his words poured endlessly amidst a confined room – as if all things raw had been evoked, his errant and obnoxious heart beat siccing every complacency. He caved in.

Unhurried, tumultuous, words never smudged in such distinct prompting. He had said every word until satiated, filling every crack in his voice with an affirmable diversion, yet it felt oddly bereft; he wanted to flesh out his feelings today, as words had never been his greatest suits.

In all its surreptitious and mortified glory, he finally conceded: "Your words leave me delirious and jubilant. And thanks to that one sole reason –"

He sucks in a belated exhale, all words long overdue, " – I am indignant."

All words trailed the tip of his ears, pouring all of the blotches of magenta it could ever offer, before waning at his own striving restraint. His skin was unusually wan, antithetical to his insistent façade, yet wasn't devoid of that faint glint landing on his gaze. The words left his heart wringing the subtle pain it laid fiendish with, reaching slowly, stating every syllable with pure intent; wary enough to mind every stubborn word left in his mouth, to fulfill honesty and unveiled excerpts.

He always had been careful.

He then further added, "And you leave me coveting for a position too unattainable." All finally brushed the tip of exposure, his supposed long-winded words having been muddled against the raging course of his own heart beats.

So why, why was he still so fucking oblivious and indifferent?!

(He then screamed into his pillow. If someone ever heard of his clamor, they never spoke of it.)