The Bumbling Detective

The Bumbling Detective: Just Deserts

The annual Garden Party at Loave Manor was the event of the year.

It was the kind of party that Carter had always read about and imagined sights to behold. Though upon his arrival, he was quite disappointed to find his boyhood fantasies of chocolate furniture, and pies so big you could swim in them, were nothing more than youthful fancy.

He really wished he hadn't made that bet with his wife when he found they didn't even have a single exotic animal serving drinks. It wasn't as though he was expecting them to bring out the tigers but would a penguin in a smart little hat have been too much to ask for?

Disappointment aside, the so-called event of the year appeared to be little more than an excuse for very rich people to rub elbows with those of a similar class and amount of inbreeding. Carter really did try not to stare at the odd shapes some of the 'Old money' were.

It was doing his very best to avoid eye contact with a man, whose eyes were barely in the same hemisphere, that caused him to bump into his host. Unfortunately, the bump was literal, and Carter's mass tended to make him act as a springboard.

Carter tried to grab the poor man before it was too late, but all he managed to do was turn in time to see the Lord of Loave Manor fall to the ground, taking a server and a tray of cakes with him. Of course God didnt see fit to grant the already awkward situation any mercy and the Lord landed bottom first into a pile of chocolate eclairs.

"You idiot!" He screamed something Carter was quite familiar with.

"Beg my pardon, your Lordship", Carter offered him down a hand only for it to be swatted away. The Lord instead glared at him and stood up on his own.

"Look what you've done. I'll have your job for this you useless piece of-" Carter assumed that at that moment the Lord finally got a good look at him, and while he would like to think what happened next was a result of his sincere apologetic look, he suspected it may have something to do with the Lord realising who he was.

The Lord cleared his throat "you're that detective from the village, aren't you?" He asked, brushing off clumps of mud and cake from his trousers, only really accomplishing in spreading the brown stain further across his pastel yellow suit.

"That's right, your Lordship", Carter smiled, offering out a hand for the man to shake. Judging from the look the Lord gave, he must have gotten mud on it at some point. It was a look of complete disgust that he didn't seem to care enough to hide.

The Lord didn't bother to return the friendly gesture and instead looked down at the server on the ground trying to clean up the spilt desserts. "You, how dare you trip me!" He kicked at a piece of Bakewell tart that was a little too close to her hand for Carter's comfort. "Get out of my sight."

"Steady on, it wasn't the young ladies fault-" Carter was interrupted by a pleading look from the server as she quickly hurried off the Lord's glare, not wavering until she had slipped inside the manor.

"You have a lot to learn about what it means to work for me, Detective Carter." The Lord looked at his hands before deciding to wipe them on the no longer pristine white table cloth "you are here to protect me from those ghastly gutter snipes that are looking for any old excuse to put a rich man down."

Carter's brow furrowed. "Sorry, sir, but didn't the threatening letters say they wanted you dead so you wouldn't raise the rents?"

The Lord waved him off "those silly details don't matter."

"Well, it's just, sir, that since your family owns most of the village, a lot of people could lose their homes."

"Like I said, silly details. Might I remind you that you and your guest are only here to ensure none of that common filth ruins my party." The Lord, seemingly deciding that he was finished with the conversation, glanced over at the mostly empty dessert table. He grabbed the nearest server and pulled him off to bark orders about finding a way to replace the lost cakes.