Stars Align || Oneshots

"That amazing feeling."

If uncomfortable with the following, please don't force yourself to read!

TW/CW: Child abuse, neglect, trauma, panic attacks, implied mentions of self-harm and suicide

Ship: Taiyo x Nao

    "Nao, listen to me when I speak!" All she ever did was complain. Complain about my studying, complain about my grades, complain about my social status, complain about having to take care of me. What did I do to deserve this? I have no freedom, no privacy, no right to have friends. It would be better if I was gone from this hellhole she created. My mother grabbed a thick piece of my navy blue hair and yanked hard on it. That was the first time she has ever laid her hands on me, I was genuinely surprised. "W--What? What was that for?" I had to ask. She screamed at me, "Agh! I'm just so tired of you not listening, Nao! All you ever focus on is your stupid soft tennis friends and not your grades! How are you going to get a future, with soft tennis?! I don't think so, Nao! I'm doing this because I care, Nao. So listen."

     That was hours ago. I packed my things and ran to my best friend's house afterwards. He opened his door with welcoming arms, but I knew I couldn't stay long. By the end of the night, we were both holding each other for comfort on his bed. I know how gay it sounds, but Taiyo wanted to help me, and in that moment I wanted a hand to hold and someone to look at me and tell me, "It's going to be alright," even though my world feels as if it's crumbling. 

     He gripped my hand. "Nao, do you want to talk about what happened? Don't feel pressured, okay...?" God, he's so kind. I don't know if I want to tell him, he could think of me differently. I push aside my fears and tell him anyways. "My mom kept... y'know, screaming at me. I-- I couldn't take it, I had to get out of there before  I..." I paused, realizing I said too much. If he knew about my addiction, he would definitely hate me. "Before you what, Nao?" He gripped my hand tighter, probably for reassurance. "Nothing, sorry." He cupped my cheeks and turned my face toward his. "Nao, I want to help! I can't just sit here and do nothing while you are obviously suffering." His voice was high-pitched, but it was nowhere near unpleasant. I just couldn't take it. I escaped from his grasp on my face, and I wrapped my arms around him. One of my hands rested in his lightly-colored hair. "N--Nao?" I think he got a little flustered, but that's expected. He doesn't really get hugs that often, but I provide. I grip onto him tighter, not letting him decide to run away even though I knew he would not do that to me. He relaxed himself and hugged me back with equal passion. "I'm sorry, Nao. You don't deserve what you're going through. I'm here whenever you need, okay?" That was my breaking point. I let out harsh sobs, but I tried as hard as I could to muffle them with Taiyo's shirt. "Please...," I muttered, "I know how weird this sounds, but please listen..." I straightened my back, loosening my grip on, but not letting go of, Taiyo. "Can... I just kiss you? I--It doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to, I just really need affection right now... I--I'm sorry, it was a dumb question!" I looked up at Taiyo, my eyes filled with tears and my face heated with embarrassment. I saw him smiling at me, his face a bit red too. He cupped my face again, and that's when I knew he was going to kiss me. He brought our lips together and I couldn't help but grip onto his shirt. He placed a hand in my hair and I closed my eyes, feeling safe and relaxed. Then, I knew Taiyo was my home; my safe place. I half-expected him to stop kissing for a minute to catch his breath, but he kept going. He removed his left hand from my face and placed it on my hip. One hand was in my hair, the other on my hip, what was this? A making out session? Did he... like me? Whatever it was, I let myself slip from reality just for a moment to be in Taiyo's comfort. Eventually, Taiyo was kissing harder. He knew I was uneasy with sex, so I knew he wouldn't go any further than making out. His hands started roaming up my shirt and I let out, against my will, a shaky whimper. I tried to bite my lip to hold in the next one, but I failed. Taiyo took a break from kissing and looked at me, stunned. "Did you...?" My face heated up, " I--I didn't! It was an accident! I--" He smiled at me. "It was cute, actually." Who knew a man this innocent and shy could act this way? He said that in the most casual was possible. "Well, are you going to continue or stop for the night? I need to know because it's getting late." His hand searched for mine and he grasped in, intertwining our fingers. "What would you like?" I couldn't answer that! Well, truthfully. "Continue, please." He smiled at my the sweetest and softest smile and kissed me once again. That night, we hadn't done anything dirty, we just kept kissing, relaxing in each other's company. That's all we needed.