The Way Back

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*Author's Note:

This was in response to a meme a friend had posted that asked, "Did it hurt? Switching from a happy, jolly, talkative person to a dull one who's no longer interested in anything."

It was intended to be my response solely to her (or as private as one can be on social media).

I asked the council of my wife concerning the quality of the piece, as I hadn't written anything that I deemed to be of quality in a while. Not only thinking that it was quality work, she wished to share it. As someone that often worries that their work will be compromised, especially in a public format, I decided to let her post it from here. *


"Not in a way that a regular person recognizes... It just sorta seeped in like a slow leak in a wall.

There was "much" and then there was less until there was nothing at all.Nature abhors a vacuum so the space tried to fill itself with emotion, the cobwebs of memories, and the tiny beings of effort and hope. They all put down roots and established their own biosystems, but all I could see was a clawing void.

Vibrant colors were ash and the taste of sunshine eluded my senses as if I were blind.

So, no, it didn't hurt... Not in any way that's measurable. But in the ways that mattered, the loneliness was existential agony.

It was "nothing" and it held me. It wrapped me in pure threads of finely-woven malaise and wanting. The echoes of what was and the frozen whispers of what-ifs that tried to undo me.

I'd like to say I championed it, but I was never a "happy" person... That's not how this story ends; Stories live on and the Garden of Whispered Hopes still exists, but I grew through it with the help of others. That unseen colony that I couldn't see, feel, or touch grew with the help of those that loved me better than I could myself. It was some while, but eventually, my vines could see the sun again and the breeze that haunted my thoughts was now full of birdsong and other vibrant flavors.

So, if you find yourself trapped and unable to see the light, try to remember that it's still there and that we're all here to help. "



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