Aa raha hoon main zindagi

Part 1

This is not love story but life story. Read at your risk.

Aa raha hoon main zindagi

I will be at peace and happy and no more pain. Only one moment this pain is for sometimes and I will be away from this. Whenever I will open my I will be in new world.

I slowly slowly open my eyes and try to recognised where am I and what is happening with me? I saw unknown face around me. they were in white cloth. I wonder where I am or they are on my funeral or I am in heaven and suddenly I feel pain but dead people don't feel pain that means I am still alive?  I was gaining my senses and open my eyes slowly slowly and try to find where am I?  those faces are unknown to me. I tried to look more carefully and I realised I am in hospital and they are treating me and it was injection because of that I was feeling pain. I am still alive I should be happy but no I am not happy. I don't want to live anymore why god why are you so cruel with me. You already snatch my happiness than why are you still want to hurt me more? why do you hate me so much? I closed my eyes and tears roll down from my eyes and I was remembering Whatever happend with me last week. my whole world is destroy. why only me why? 

I realised someone touched my shoulder and I came out from my dream world no sorry nightmare dream. there was my aayi whose face looks pale and eyes were swolen. it seems she cried for whole night and my baba was standing behind my aayi his condition was also not less. I felt guilt for hurting them but it was not for long period and guilt replaced by anger.

I gathered all courage and energy and shouted on them why did they save me and I don't want to live anymore. Aayi was trying to console me and baba too but I was not in mood to listen to them and told them to leave me alone. I just want to stay alone. I was angry on them why did they save me?  I don't want to live anymore. I want to died.

Outside my parents were crying and inside I was crying and I didn't know 2 pairs of eyes were watching this.

It was night time. Everyone was sleeping but I was awake and all memories were haunting me. I can't live like this. I will try one more time. I look around me and my aayi was sleeping but her face was still pale and my father was another side. both tried to talk to me and try to cheering me but I was ignoring them.

I left room silently so no one wake up with noise. I slowly slowly reach towards terrace due to weakness and pain but this is for sometime only after that no more pain. I was on roof top near water tank and about to jump I heard someone voice.

voice: so are you committing murder?

I was scare listening unknown voice and I saw that direction and one guy was standing there folding his hand and grin was on his face and looking at me question mark? 

who the hell are you and what are you doing here at this time?  I question him.

his reply irritate me

voice: look who is talking? I can ask same question to you but I wont because I know why are you here. (winking at me) i am not liable to answer your questions but I will answer. answer one I am Raghav Rao answer two I never see murder and suicide in my life so I am here experience that. bada maza aata hoga na (he said excited and I was shocked with his answer)

Btw you carry on i won't disturb. I want to witness murder.