Emotional abuse is still abuse

The note

Last year, I was abused by my best friend. You'll hear more about him in the later chapters, but for now, let me show you a note he sent me.

The Note:

Once upon a time, during the 4th of July, a boy went to a concert. He was bored, with just his family, and wanted to do something else. Luckily, there was a girl there, who he had previously said that he liked her in 5th grade. However that liking was never a real liking since he had to break up with his previous crush. He had played with the girl at the concert, and had lots of fun. He tried to forget the past feeling he had for her, but for some reason they kept coming back. Nonetheless, he pushed that feeling aside. However, later that night, the pair were in the front row. He watched her, looking at how happy she was. There was something growing inside him. Something he couldn't recognize. When she turned around they locked eyes. In that moment, his heart stopped. He had realized that these feelings he was having were now true. He did fall for her. That night after the concert, he laid in bed thinking about her. He went to sleep...

School had started again. When he went back, he saw her, but again he pushed away, even though he truly liked her. He did this for the entire school yeah, he looked at her and then shooed the feelings away. Then a disease spread through out the whole world. He realized he would not be able to see her until the next school year. As the summer went on, though, he longed more for his friends that her, since he didn't believe in those feelings. However, when school started again, he still sometimes looked at her. The longer school went on, the more the feelings spread through him.
Then one day he was sick. He stayed home for two weeks recovering. During that time, he realized he really did like her, and he made a plan to try and follow through and eventually express his feelings to her. While he was gone, she had gotten a concussion. When he came back, he didn't follow through with his plan, he went upstairs to sit lonesome again. However, he saw her and her friends sitting upstairs. This ignited his spark. He sat with them. And sat with them the next day. And the next day. And the next. And the next. He sat with them everyday, and continued to. He eventually picked up conversation with not only her, but her friends too. He had to patch up a relationship he had with one kid. They had gotten off on the wrong foot before and he wanted to fix that. Things had been going well until one day...

They were playing truth or dare. The wrong foot kid who was also a nerd and will be referenced as that from now on, went up to the boy. He whispered in his ear "Who do you like?" With anxiety swelling inside him, he became scared. He could just say her name, but there was a chance they would make him tell the question, and everyone would know. He made a big show, blurted out her name, and ran. He hid after that.

Months later, a different girl asked who he liked, curious. His friend who was also friends with her told her. She then blurted out a not very obvious hint, but she implied it by referencing the nerd, who had liked the girl before. He freaked out since the girl was just across the table from him. The girl merely said she was curious, and moved on. The boy freaked out. He didn't know what to do. After that he had basketball practice. He had so many butterflied in his stomach, he left practice without telling anyone. He had so many feelings he couldn't contain himself. He cried when he got home and had his parents get him through it. However, the next day, it was good until practice. Nothing bad had happened, but once he went to change, he tried to talk to his fellow teammates, but they told him to shut up and wouldn't let him talk once. He tried to get rid of his anger, but couldn't. He had so much rage inside of him, and with one forceful bit of rage, he lost himself. He did something he didn't mean to do. There now appeared a hole in the wall. His foot, was in the wall. He went to practice. He told everyone who tried to talk to him to shut up. He was silent. Practice had ended, and everything else had as well. His teammates gawked at the hole. One of them went up to him. Did you do this!?" He had. They yelled. They threw fists. He ran off, telling his coaches not to expect him because he'll probably be dead. Unfortunately, he had many previous suicide attempts. His parents and friends always saved him. He got home, did irrational things, bawled his eyes out, and had so many emotions going on. He was suspended from school the next day. He couldn't go to the basketball game. He lied again. when he could go to school the next day, he told her the truth. She seemed okay with it. He never knew for sure.

Another month went by. His basketball was over. A kid that wasn't too nice asked who the boy liked. He told him the truth. The next day, the not nice kid told her. The boy didn't know until the end of gym. He freaked out. He panicked, he didn't know what to do. He texted her something that was pretty stupid. He confessed the truth.

The next day, he went on a trip with his class. Unfortunately, she was the girl's basketball manager, and there was a game that day, so she couldn't go. That was the only day he could've fixed things. He was having lots of fun though, until an unfortunate incident occurred. He was talking with the redneck and another kid. As they were talking, the other left. It was just the nerd and the boy. He told him about the not nice kid incident. The redneck told him something. He told him something the boy never wanted to hear because he knew it was true. The nerd and the girl had feelings for each other. The boy's world fell apart. He did his best not to show it, but when they went back to go to their activity, he felt nothing. There was nothing left in life. He felt like curling up and crying. He still did the activity. However, the trip ended. He felt like he had to say something to her. He had to end this cycle of pain. He would write about his adventure of love, pain, and ultimate loss. Right now, he is on the bus, typing this up, finishing it. Once he's back home, he's going to lay in bed, listen to the song he always listened to when he felt like this, and cry. He would cry, and cry, and cry. During the weekend, he wouldn't get out of bed. He would lay in his bed, and wish that he could erase this whole travesty. He's going to wish he was dead. And at some point, he probably will die. Not because of natural causes, not because of an accident, but because of pain. And he couldn't handle the pain. He would stop sitting with her at lunch. He would sit alone. He will eventually live with no friends, no love, and no life. At some point, he'll not be able to take any more. He'll take his life. And the pain could finally end.

I'm sorry Lily. You probably never wanted this. But time has stopped for me. However, tomorrow is another day...

The last think I want to say, If I never see you again, please remember me the way I was before I was broken, before I had any sort of anxiety over this thing.