𝐈𝐬𝐥𝐚'𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞| ✓

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘~𝐒𝐈𝐗

C

hapter 36

It was such a nightmare, repeating the same scenario in my head over and over again for fourteen days and nights. I was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. At some point, I nearly made the decision to follow my parents to paradise.

I was not myself anymore. Things were different. I had shifted into a completely different dimension of the world, the dark, depressing and sad world. I barely smiled, I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed.

I was somewhere, I didn't really remember the location. I had run away, I hadn't informed anyone, not Aiden or Katerina, about my departure. After Yves left my heart in shatters, I had immediately packed a small bag and fled in the middle of the night.

I managed to make it out of the high tech gate with my remote while the guard was away, and I had rented out a private house somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

It was a silent area, so peaceful, which left me to my draining and consuming thoughts. I had shed endless tears, reminisced the bitter moment till I had a severe migraine and at some point, I forgot to eat.

I didn't know what to do with myself, I thought of how I was going to support my baby without a job or relatives around. Worst of all, I needed a lot more food than before, and so many necessities.

I was so angry, so confused, so bothered and restless. The once calming and romantic memories which brought nothing but a smile on my face, were painful. They were haunting.

I hadn't slept well at all. Every time I tried, the same cold, hard stormy eyes would stare back at me. The frightened reaction that I had received bringing nothing but anxiety and hurt to me.

Nothing. My dignity had been reduced to nothing but a small, insignificant pile of fine grey ash. I had lost it all; my pride, my peace, my happiness, my freedom, my life...

Suddenly, I regretted it all. I felt extremely stupid, stupid for letting him lure me with his irresistible charm, only for him to act like a complete stranger, all love and affection evaporated into thin air.

It was as though he had never known me, and his resistance was a clear rejection. He hadn't wanted me in the first place. Neither did he want our baby, I might as well call it my baby.

The pain in my chest hurt to a point where I could barely breathe, where the oxygen felt heavy and my lungs were incapable of taking it in.

My eyes were droopy and swollen from all the emotional turmoils I went through, and I hadn't even showered in days. Three quarters of the day was spent staring into space, the demons and agonising memories taunting me throughout.

I suddenly had great hatred for Yves Nicholson. I wanted to scream at him for ruining my life, for making me feel worthy then tossing me like used tissue paper. I wanted to stab him to death, and most of all, I wanted an apology.

I also partially wanted my poor life back. I did struggle, but I wasn't pregnant, nor was I heartbroken as much as I am. Maybe I should have learnt from my mistakes, but I thought he would be different. He was different. So different that without so much as a word, he had shattered my spirit.

I was hopeless, everything was hopeless. There was no light at the end of the tunnel this time. I wanted to be happy again, I had forgotten how it felt, to be so carefree and loved. I was certain they thought my unexpected escape was good riddance. I was a burden, a stupid burden, I constantly asked why my parents left without me.

I felt like an alien, a completely different breed from everyone else. I didn't fit in, I never did, I was what you called an outcast. I was an outcast for the longest time ever, and I still was. I was not meant to be in existence. Perhaps the pain would have been slightly bearable if I was a butterfly, or an ant.

The baby was a blessing, I knew that I had someone to keep me company. I was going to have my baby, with or without Yves, and I swore to give them the best life possible.

I inhaled deeply as I watched the trees sway gently outside, it was one of those days when I was overly depressed. I couldn't see anything, my vision was blurry and my whole body was aching.

I couldn't think straight, and my head was pounding. It felt as though the air was getting thicker with each passing minute, it felt like I was in a room full of carbon dioxide. Everything was spinning, and in no time at all, I was crying again.

My hand scrambled for my bottle of water but I couldn't find it. My heart pulsated as I panicked more and more, and I felt trapped. Constricted.

"Someone," I whispered weakly as I tried to crawl to the table, but I couldn't see anything.

I wanted to scream for someone but my voice was shallow, I was literally in the middle of nowhere. It was really over for me this time, and I felt very bad for the baby. They deserved a better mother. I wasn't good enough.

I faintly heard a buzzing noise and what seemed to be people's voices, but everything seemed absurd around me. I couldn't comprehend anything, my whole body was stiff and the air was getting more and more dense.

It felt like I was falling, so deep into the ocean. I was drowning, gasping for air, I couldn't manage. Someone was holding my hand, my body was elevating, and darkness cast over me like a thick blanket. I was floating, to what I assumed, was eternity.