𝘼𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙤 - 𝙅𝙅 𝙈𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙠

The Gold

AUTHOR'S NOTE *TW* Weight loss, skip to the first ✵ if you are uncomfortable with this :)

Pope began chipping away at the tree while Kie and I watch with tears in our eyes. JJ then got a blow torch and iron stick and burnt 

2003                                        2020

          John B Routledge

                         P4L

"To John B." JJ says, holding up his flask.

"And to Sarah." Kie adds, looking at us sadly.

At the foot of the tree we began to bury the box of stuff and memories Kie and I had put together over the past three days. Sure the storm was 4 weeks ago, but I don't think anyone had it in their systems to do a memorial. 

After spending the night of the storm in the forest, I figured I needed to come to the Chateau to let the others know I was ok. Of course when I arrived, I was the only one there. I guess being alone in there set off an anger in my mind that I didn't know I had. I destroyed most of the stuff in the house. It didn't help anything about the situation. I ended up crawling into JB's bed sobbing. I didn't see the others for another week, nor did I leave the bed for another week except for the bathroom. Not even for food or water. I knew by day 4 in that room that JJ was obviously too heartbroken to enter the Chateau so he was staying with Pope, not Kie, because of her parents. A text would have been nice though, even if it was just a 'hey, I miss you.' When they showed up, Pope found me laying down in a bundle of old blankets crying. He walked over and instantly hugged me not saying a word but just held me. Kie and JJ walked in hearing my sobs and joined in on the hug. I was glad that the other three were still hanging out and talking to each other during that week even if it was without me. 

School was coming up and as much as I just wanted to stay at the Chateau and avoid the trenches of whispers that would cloud us, I had to get out of the house. We've all been doing our own things really. Kie and Pope have been attached to the hip while JJ had been occupied with work and stick and pokes. I had just spent my time trying to get over this whole thing. My physical image had changed over the four weeks which I think everyone had noticed but said nothing instead. I had lost some weight around my whole body but what pissed me off the most, was my face and arms. My hair had changed as well. Due to the sudden under malnourishment, my hair became very thin and more straw like. Eventually I lost it and cut my hair from waist length to shoulder length. It was an in the moment thing but I don't regret it what so ever. It was more obvious in my face that I had lost weight and with my now defined cheek bones it made me feel less like Sarah's twin and more like Jade. My arms were the thinnest part of my body and it terrified me because when JJ would go to grab my hand he would do it with such care that it was like he thought I was gonna break. He treated me like glass and I fucking hated it.

I don't think the others had realized that I wasn't taking care of myself properly until halfway through the third week. I obviously had to drink water to keep myself from dying but apart from that, I barely ate and when I did it was small foods that kept me barely nourished. It wasn't that I didn't want to eat. It was more of the fact that I couldn't pull myself together enough to do so.

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