snape tries to get with you, the reader, who is 14 and he ends up going to jail!!!!! uwu
this fic is satire lol
this is my first fanfiction ever please be nice to me 🥺
Hi my name is y/n! <3 uwu owo. im about to go to hogwarts school for education and learning :333 oh and witchcraft and wizardry i guess 😒 thats a reference to my favorite game of allllllll time baldi's basics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OwO i ship baldi x principal aka princibaldi because i am a fujoshi and they are smol beans and baldi is a cute soft innocent cinnamon roll baby boi :3 my username on instagram is fujoshi_chan_yaoi_bookshelf ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) my parents are both the king and queen of england and i am the magical fairy goddess wolf vampire ice fire water earth air hybrid princess :33333 unfortunately both my parents died in a car crash so now i inherited all their wealth and i am super rich :((( dni if you say "eat the rich" :/// anyways i have long luscious blonde hair that's so long it drags behind me like im rapunzel uwu with ocean blue orbs and i have paper white skin that's so transparent you can see my veins :333 and i am so short 🥺🥺🥺 i'm 3'0 i'm so tiny uwu i'm also super clumsy 🥺 anyways enough of introductions i have to go to hogwarts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got ready and I chose this outfit:
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This is me uwu
~Time Skip! uwu~
I go to 9 3/4 station uwu by myself... im so lonely :( I have no friends... After a little while, the train came and I cutely got up to go on! Everyone was staring at me because I was too cute :3. I even saw draco malfoy stare at me! The most hottest, sexiest, juiciest, greasiest (but I love the oil on his hair~ he lets me cook eggs with it~) man I have ever met! And guess what draco fans, HE IS MINE AND YOU CANNOT TOUCH HIM OR I WILL KILL YOU AND YOU WILL HAVE A BAD TIME. HE ONLY LOVES ME. AND I ONLY LOVE HIM!!! I AM HIS WIFE AND GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! Anyways, I got into the train and everyone was still staring at me because they love me pale sexy and cute body uwu. I saw so many guys stare at me and drool cuz boys drool :P. I finally got into my compartment and took drakey cakes in with me! We kissed! owo and made out! Hes such a good kisser! O/////////O
"You're so hot and sexy!" Draco told me while drooling like a boy. I blush really hard >////////////////< "You kiss super good and your lips are so soft."
"I know right!" I flip my hair. "Your so hot too uwu I love your greasy ass oily ass hair :3"
"Thank you babe ;)" Draco kisses me again and I giggle and blush even harder and have a nose bleed!! 0//////////////////0
After riding the train and draco, we finally made it to hogwarts! I smile at the school and got on the carriage to the inside. I'm a Slytherin!!!! Because I'm super mean, super rude and super bitchy!!!! uwu As I went inside, I tripped on my heel which sent one of my red low top converses flying off of my right foot and it also sent all of my books and papers flying and they scattered!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so embarrassed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! o/////////o It had main character energy owo I fell on my face and started crying ;-; Then some hot sexy juicy and greasy teacher noticed me and walked towards me. OH MAH GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i cant cuss im too pure and innocent >////<) HE WAS SO HAAAAWWWWTTTTT.
to be continued... 0_o
a/n: can y'all tell its been years since i've last read harry potter
