I of the Storm (Harry Potter)

I of the Storm

"I am going to become an Obscurial?"

The spare, the young Black heir, was in the Black family study, currently double-checking the information he 'd read about Horcrux. Yet, it was the information on Obscurus and the inflicted Obscurial which caught his eye.

And he knew.

Regulus knew he was reaching an emotional breaking point, one that truly had been building up for years, accumulating now at that moment—a moment where he viewed his own magic with such a loathing that he knew, knew all too well that he was starting to repress his magic, wanting to stop it, as it—magic, seemed like such a dark, terrible thing, a thing meant only to hurt others.

And in his mind, he knew it wouldn 't make sense to anyone, not when what he was reading about now read like a story to scare children at bedtime, a concept he'd been introduced to his first night in Slytherin, as his parents never told him bedtime stories, a task left up to the House Elf, Kreacher, instead. For according to what he read, they were a thing of the past, something that didn't exist.

Not to mention how it wouldn 't make sense as all the victims were children and not a young wizard who was now an adult. Yet, there was a part of him that knew his mind was different, with things not clicking as they did with his peers, with him having these childish dreams of everyone, Wizards and Muggles alike, living in peace, that the Dark Lord would bring about the world where those able to use magic no longer needed to hide.

Only, for all of that to be shattered when Kreacher, someone he 'd thought of as family since early childhood, much to his older brother's extreme exasperation at how Regulus apparently didn't get it , the one consistent thing in his life, there, hurting because of him. And how did he hate hurting things, but the very thought of using his magic to harm others sickened him to the point he felt the need to repress his magic, to hate his magic, because that was what everyone wanted, even expected.

He 'd just not realized that.

For which the realization would inevitably result in him becoming an Obscurial, and the power of Obscurus would, in fact, harm others, those he cared about. And worse—he knew the Dark Lord would, if he found out, use him as a weapon, use Bella to control the end result if need be, and Regulus was sure she 'd gladly do it, particularly given the fact him becoming an Obscurial would mean he was a broken Black, and a Black who was broken, not fitting the ideal the family wanted—they were disposable.

More importantly, he didn 't want to hurt anybody, so he knew what he needed to do to prevent the ones he cared about from getting hurt. Even the inkling he might be wrong—the very thought he might not be wrong-wasn 't going to stop him, yet Obscurus and Obscurial made sense now why the two worlds were now separate, to prevent such things.

"Regulus?"

"Papa?" Regulus looked up, attempting to smile at Orion, though something told him the man knew something wasn't quite right. Somehow, Orion always knew, despite typically having a commonly hands-off approach to him and his brother, to let their mother guide them.

"You're up late. Studying for your N.E.W.T.s?"

"Of course," Regulus said, though he was sure Orion saw through the lie as he approached him, his eye on the book.

"I see."

Regulus ' head turned back, realizing the book was open to the page regarding what he would turn into.

"Regulus, you do know your mother, and I love you, right?"

That put a frown on his face, his mind wanting to tell his father he loved him back, but—

"Regulus?"

"I love you too, Papa. At least, I think so."

Which might have been the wrong thing to say, but then he wasn 't sure what that love of concept meant, not when his understanding of relationships was as broken as it was, even before he'd come to the conclusions he had, even before Sirius ran away from home. And yet, he wished he had a better answer, a more affirmative answer to his father.

He felt a hand placed on top of his head, which made his body stiffen, so unused to touch, so used to flinching away from touch despite somehow also craving it from others, while knowing from his mother that as a Black he was expected to act a certain way, in a manner that rejected doing specific things—a thing his father was now doing, now breaking the family 's own rules.

"You're a good boy, Regulus. Don't forget that."

"And what does that even mean? I don't know anymore. Is it behaving, unlike Sirius? Acting like a proper noble? Hurting others?"

"And, well, I know I shouldn't speak for your mother as I was, but I really do love you, and I really should have made that clearer as you grew up."

"I don't understand," Regulus muttered.

"I know you don't. I know, I know all too well, but that's okay. It really is. Just, don't stop being yourself."

Except he was changing, changing into an Obscurial, meaning he was breaking Orion 's heart, and—given the book was out there, right in front of him—chances are his father had figured out. He was a Black, after all. So Regulus said, "I'm sorry."

Which if it had been his mother, she would have told him never to apologize, that it was a sign of weakness in a Black. However, she 'd often contradict that by demanding things such as Sirius apologize for his actions, which was a confusing thing, so he simply behaved more and more, so contradictions didn't arise.

"You've nothing to apologize for, my boy. Now off to bed."

Regulus closed the book and headed up to bed, but at that moment, he made up his mind and cemented what he was going to do. After all, he didn 't feel like there was much choice in the matter.