When does life stop hurting?
When does life become something other than a burden? When do I stop feeling like I wanna give up every second of everyday? When does it end?
Life is this concept that we are suppose to be grateful for being allowed to have. But why do I have to be grateful for living, when most of the time I don't even feel like I'm living.
When do we learn the difference between living and surviving? Because right now, it feels like nothing will ever get better, like I would be happier if an asteroid just hit the earth and killed us all. Is that really what living is suppose to feel like?
In reality, most of us are just surviving. We eat enough, we drink enough, we sleep enough, doctors might tell us we're healthy, but it really just feels like we're rotting away. Nothing will ever be enough for my body nor my mind to feel satisfied.
So what is the point? I'm expected to go to school, learn, and be good at everything the teachers give me. But how will I be able to accomplish that if I'm worried about whether or not I'll be able to have dinner tonight? How can I do that when my rent is months overdue, and I can't pay it because my boss fired me?
Might've been better if I had parents, but not all of us have that luxury. Is this the life I'm expected to have forever? I do not wanna live anymore, and it's not like there is anyone that cares enough to stop me.
All throughout the day these thoughts strung through my head. I've spent the last 12 hours looking for a job, but nobody seems to wanna hire a 17 year old 'unreliable' girl. In reality, I probably looked like I did 3 pounds of cocaine to these people, but it can't be helped when I don't even have money to buy ramen noodles.
Ramen noodles have come in clutch time and time again, but it seems that now I really have ended up in a lifeless ditch. If I can't find a job I'm gonna get evicted, and then I'll be homeless.
On the streets, like the useless piece of fucking shit that I am. I have no one to turn to for help, all I have are the streets of New York and the rats that seem to live on every corner.
Life would've been so much easier if I was a rat.
VOUS LISEZ
Flowers are death wishes
Romance"Once you pick a flower, you sentence that flower to death" "Like a death wish." "Are you a death wish?" "Maybe" _________________________ Dwell into the life of a mentally ill person trying to make their way in the world. They can't do it on their...
