Mes pensées

2022-05-17

I might be not perfect, but I always try to give my best to you. All this shit up because of me. You will say that it is not my fault, but at the end who is getting hurt again and again. It's you because of me ! Because of what I do, I can't aford what I did to you, cuz I'm no good for you. 

You deserve someone better than me. Someone who will be there for you more than I ever do, someone who will support and help you in all your fabulous project. Someone who will take care of you and make you smile. 

I should be carefull, we are not the same. I know that, I know that I might not be the one, I might not be the last girl in your life because I'm sure you will get tired of me and kick me out of your life because you will open your eyes and say she make me cry and make me feel bad, but I'm not the bad person in all that. She is, she toxic and I didn't see it before. You didn't see it of course, I see it in the first time I see you cry. I feel toxic for you and I don't want you to feel bad. I want you to be happy, to be love, to be painless and to be who you really are. Don't hide who you are cuz your have a beautifull personnality. I'm the one who put all beside me for you, I'm the one make you become another person cuz I can't be more carefull. I love you like a fool, like nobody did I'm sure. My love for you have no words for describes what I feel. It is not the first time I say this, but it's the truth. I swear.

I hurt you a lot and I'm tired to see you crying inside because of me. I know how it hurt, cuz I already feel it, it is not easy to get trough all this pain. You can't forgive all I did, cuz it is unforgivable and I won't let you say sorry for me. You're not the one who need to say sorry, you're the one who need excuse from me. I need to say sorry, I need to change, I need to let you know all me love. 

I don't expect you to forgive me, I expect you to see what you really want of me. I already know what I want from you, a familly, a house, my whole future in your arm's. 

I want you to know that you are my everything, I won't get trough this without you. But I can't continu this way if I'm not able to change a little bit for you, if I'm not able to gave you what you deserve. You should say it out loud how much I hurt you. You can call me whatever you want, cuz I deserve it. 

Love You and Hate me