It starts off kind of normal but then it drifts off into the vicinity of a crack. This is one thousand three hundred seventy six words of pure crack. It is hilarious crack granted but just so you know, there is language and everyone gets made fun of at least three times by everyone else. Read and comment please!
“Hah! Pay up, sucker!”
Tim glowered at Jason who had just exclaimed his amusement at his predicament. Dick tried to look sympathetic, but couldn’t hide the grin playing around his mouth.
It was the early afternoon, barely past two and they had been playing Monopoly: Justice League Edition for half an hour. All of the properties had been snatched up already and they had been playing long enough for it to be clear who was winning and who was…well, not.
“Fine,” Tim grumbled. He passed Jason a stack of twenties, his fingers twitching slightly as the money changed hands.
Damian, who was currently the wealthiest, didn’t bother to hide his smirk. “Todd, even if Drake pays you every time he passes, you still won’t be half as rich as I am.”
“You keep telling yourself that,” Jason warned, as he shook the die. “Four and six.”
“Free parking,” Dick supplied. “You got off easy this time, Jason; you could have landed on me from either side of free parking.”
As Jason hooted with glee and Dick pretended not to worry at the dwindling stack of hundreds at his side, Tim miserably took a look at his own cash. He only had two twenties, one fifty and one hundred left and if he wasn’t careful, he would have to start mortgaging property.
Since it was a nice day and they had finished their midterms, they had decided to break in the new Monopoly: Justice League Edition board which had been a Christmas present from Bruce. Since it had been purchased in Gotham, the board contained more Gotham and Batman related things than if it had been purchased in, say, Metropolis, where Superman was the main focus of the board.
After a long argument and a small scuffle, Damian had smugly managed to get hold of the Batman figurine which he had chosen to play with. Dick had nabbed the Robin figurine which no one challenged, not even Jason much to everyone’s surprise. Tim had wound up with Flash, which wasn’t terrible and Jason had gotten the Batmobile, tires and all.
Damian was easily wiping the board with them, piles of twenties and hundreds sitting on both sides of him. After him, Jason was the second richest player, with a considerable amount of cash and rather a lot of real estate.
Dick wasn’t doing too terribly but if his current bad luck streak kept up, he would be bankrupt soon.
As for Tim, well, it was up for debate whether or not he would survive to pass Go.
He glared at the Mister Monopoly who was beaming at him from the center of the board as he watched Dick shake the dice.
They howled as Dick realized that he had just landed on Jason’s single most expensive property; Thanagar which had three bats on it, driving its price up to nine hundred dollars.
“But I don’t have nine hundred dollars,” whined Dick. He glanced miserably at his property cards before sighing and starting to mortgage property.
Five minutes later, Jason was considerably richer and Dick had mortgaged Titan’s Tower and Superman’s Fortress of Solitude.
“You know they’d kill me if I ever actually mortgaged the Tower,” he mentioned casually, fiddling his figurine’s metal cape.
“Anything but four,” Tim begged, eyeing Damian’s transportation; the Invisible Jet.
Tim nervously rolled the dice to get three and four. He let out a shout of glee and did a small dance around the rest of his brothers, cackling.
