CANAISIS ∞ Chronicle One ∞ 2: A Captain's Journey

67 ∞ Raw Wound

Day 00010 Mission Nilex

They all entered the communal area in the Fishery and sat on the laid-out mats. The overhead lamps were low, allowing the bright aquarium lighting to send shimmering light throughout the space. Nafisa and Tahsin came, carrying baskets of fried fish balls, cups, and sealed jugs of nutrient-fortified juice.

Ayla had hopes for those two. Nafisa's name meant delicate and valuable, but only one of those applied. Nafisa had a thick body and the womanly attributes to go with it. Delicate she was not, but valuable, yes. Nafisa was one of their best shuttle pilots and a fantastic computer technician.

Tahsin and Nafisa had been circling around each other for years. But, despite everyone's approval and encouragement, they just seemed to maintain their orbit. Lina had commented more than once that the only way it would happen was if Tahsin suffered engine failure and crashed.

Now, from her new perspective, Ayla watched Tahsin and Nafisa with deep sadness. If they only understood how quickly they could find themselves truly alone, they wouldn't waste another moment of their lives.

Bitterness overcame her and, in the back of her mind, the harsh sound of ash blowing over stone whispered. She hugged herself against the creeping cold from within.

The idle chatter around her ceased as a hand squeezed her shoulder. She met Ahmid's gaze. Concern etched his face.

"We are here, Ayla."

She felt his warmth. It snapped her back to the here and now, and she realized all thirteen of her Nilex family were regarding her.

Self-conscious, she smiled weakly. "I'm alright. Sorry."

Ahmid's lips rose in a gentle smile, then he dropped his hand. "Here, have my plate. I can wait."

He set his food before her and looked around. Everyone returned to acting normal, Nafisa having given out the fish balls to everyone. When Tahsin finished pouring the drinks, the two sat down on their mats beside each other. Adnad and Rayan ended their private discussion as they waited.

"Let us give our thanks to Gaia for Ayla's return," started Ahmid in the formal manner. "Let us clear our thoughts so the Universe may fill our minds. In this, we respect Gaia."

"We honor Gaia, the All."

Everyone bowed their heads and grew closer. Ayla felt them sharing with one another as was the Nilex family's custom, and tried to do the same. But as much as she tried, she came no closer than she was—aware of them, but not a part of them. She sensed their love for her, and she didn't want them to feel like she was rejecting them, but she just couldn't open herself up to them. Not when her being was a raw wound, too sensitive to be touched.

What is wrong with me?

Once again, Ahmid's hand on her shoulder snapped her back.

"It will take time, Ayla. We understand. I ask you to give yourself that time, the time you need to heal. I respect your decision—we all do. And I want you to know, every one of us is willing to share the Burden with you because we love you. You are not alone."

The sense of warm, sunlit stone filled Ayla, and she realized her hands had been shaking. She squeezed them into fists as all the memories flowed through her mind.

I'm not there. I'm here. She drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, then cast her gaze around the circle. Only love and concern looked back at her.

They were her family. Could she share the Burden with her family?

An image came to her. The empty darkness of Gareth's eyes staring back at her after he told his tale in the Garden. She could not name the emotion that filled her then. It was not one emotion, but many combined, as if time had blended them into one. She didn't know how she knew, but she knew...