I cry in silence to not show sadness
I laugh so it seems like the whole world could hear me
So it seems like I'm happy
I mask my feelings everywhere I go
Well, unless I'm in my room or in our bathroom
Why the bathroom you might be asking
Well, that's where I have my newest scars from
A pair of nail scissors to be exact
Putting the blade of the scissors to my skin
Dragging it along me arm or breast or even legs
Seeing the skin just open
The blood dripping downwards
Down to my hand stomach or foot
Down to the floor
All of these feelings running out with the blood
I sit down, feeling a little lightheaded
I go back into my room
Feeling numb
Like everything is going down the drain
I see my boyfriend is on the screen of my phone
"I'm back", I say with absolutely no life in my voice
He asks what happens and I say that it's nothing
He keeps insisting that I tell him so after a while, I do
I tell him what I did in the bathroom
The response I get back is: ''I knew it would happen. It's okay. Everyone relapses and that's fine. I do it too and you know that''
You might be wondering what I answer with
Nothing
My answer was nothing
What did I do?
I started crying
I started bawling my eyes out
Every feeling I've ever felt tackles me to the ground
I feel everything getting distant
I'm not in control
Everything goes pitch black
YOU ARE READING
Poems
PoetryIn this book, I will write my own poems and publish it for you guys to read. Some of these are very personal but to be honest, it doesn't really matter. You're getting to know the real me. TW: Self harm, suicide, drugs, alcohol, yelling
