the blooming sprout

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TW : mention of anxiety, depression, suicide, alcohol and cigarettes abuse. i don't condone nor glorify any of the issue mentioned in this story, it's only for the plot. if this subjects trigger you, please exit the book. thank you.

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now playing : life - rap monster

in the air could be smelled a strong coffee scent, the warm croissants kinda burned their hands and there could be heard some people chattering all around.

between those people, there were yeonjun and soobin, childhood friends, which shared every little details of their life together, until some years ago.

they both saw the first time the other started to walk, they heard the other's first word, and, most important of it all, they were the other's first love.

but love is no easy thing.

and it will never be.

they teach you that love is that feeling that warms your heart, more and more, but they don't really teach you that it's also the feeling that makes it burn, that continuously hurts it.

it makes you scream, louder and louder, it makes you think that you're the wrong one, that you don't deserve the other. that you don't deserve living.

it makes you cry, harder and harder, so much that in the end you laugh because you can't take it anymore. you feel like you can't go on. like you have no right to do so.

love is straight up foolish. it didn't make sense to both yeonjun and soobin. but they couldn't live without it, without the little hope that it brought to them everyday.

why yeonjun had to fall in love with such a gentle soul? with somebody to whom if you touch the heart, it might just break apart? and why did he also loved that part of soobin? how the other, even if younger, was taller than him, but how at the same time, was fragile and needed to be protected. how his little dimples showed up when he was smiling, giving him such an angelic aura. how soft his voice was, when he asked yeonjun if he was okay, just like he was afraid of the answer, just like how if the other said no, that would be a no for soobin too, who would have passed the whole night hugging yeonjun until he felt better.

"why you have to be so nice?" yeonjun asked himself while the big arms of the other embraced him, making him melt in them, not wanting to let go.

he was stronger than soobin, both mentally and physically, he would bottle up his feeling and get angry at himself, banging his head on the glass of his bookcase, and then act like nothing happened, but when the other gazed at him, piercing through his soul, he couldn't help but let everything out.

it was like soobin had some weird powers, he could read his mind even when yeonjun was sure that his acting was smooth. soobin knew yeonjun like nobody did. he knew him more than himself, and he didn't see him as an open book, instead he saw him as a story that he already read a million times. but he felt like he was never able to read the last page, so he could've just imagined how the story ended. and it was always in a different way.

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