Metzcest One-Shot

Metzcest

There was a concert in a few hours, and Jack was getting ready. He carefully adorned his favorite accessory, the well-known women's trapper hat he wore on a daily basis, knowing he was about to go out and sing and give himself whiplash for about the millionth time. He slipped on his infamous white t-shirt, the fabric sliding satisfyingly over his sweaty jungle of tangled back hair. He glanced in the mirror and determined himself ready.

But something about tonight was different.

He wasn't just slapping the hat on, or throwing on the same old shirt and shorts as he normally did; he was making sure he looked especially sexy.

See, earlier, his brother Ryan had been speaking very loudly to Chris Berry in another room, and Jack had heard every word, as Ryan was usually the loudest person in the vicinity.

"I can't wait to see him tonight," he had told Chris dreamily. "He always looks so handsome in that hat."

Although Chris hadn't really agreed with that statement, he hadn't denied it either. But Jack didn't really care much about what their drummer thought; it was his brother's good opinion he longed for. Ryan hadn't mentioned him by name, but who else could he be talking about? No one else wore a hat every night.

Hearing those words had sparked something within him that had been buried for a long time. Was it brotherly love? No, that wasn't it. Was it appreciation for the blessing that was his next oldest sibling? No, that wasn't it either.

Was it...desire?

That felt more like it.

Yes, Jack had had a crush on Ryan for years. Oh, society always said that incest was gross, incest was creepy, blah, blah, blah. But the feelings were there! What was he supposed to do? He couldn't just force them away, no matter how much he wished he could. Because he did wish that; incest was weird, and it was unnatural, and Alba had no idea that he had been using her as a coverup for six years. He loved her, he really did, but not romantically. It was Ryan he wanted.

And maybe, just maybe, Jack had thought after hearing those words not meant for his ears, Ryan might finally feel something more than a completely normal fraternal bond with his biological kin. Maybe it was more like a passion, a need for closeness that had nothing to do with the fact that they had literally sprung from the same cooch. Maybe it was a craving for intimacy, a lust for touch. And perhaps his brother possessed a particular ardor for excessive body hair?

Jack had to make his feelings clear...tonight. It was worth a shot.

And if he got rejected? Well, it wasn't as if Ryan could shun him forever. They were brothers, for God's sake, and Ryan would never abandon AJR.

After triple checking his appearance in his mirror (which arguably looked exactly the same as it always did), Jack decided he was ready to confront the one he inwardly yearned for; it was time. But on his way out of the room, he bumped into his other brother, Adam.

"Oh, sorry, Jack," Adam chuckled, a bit nervously in his younger brother's opinion. "I didn't see you coming out."

"No worries," Jack replied absentmindedly; his focus was not on Adam at all, but on Ryan, who had just exited his own dressing room a couple yards away from them. Maybe if Jack had been paying attention to his oldest sibling, he would have noticed that he was wearing a very attractive umbrella hat.

"Actually, I was coming to talk to you about something," Adam went on anxiously. "Do you have a minute?"

Jack reluctantly forced his eyes away from Ryan, who was picking a wedgie with great gumption, and turned to Adam instead. "Yeah, what did you want to talk about?"

Adam opened his mouth to speak, but was immediately interrupted by Ryan, who had successfully pulled his pants out of his asscrack and had now decided to join them. "What are you two talking about?" he asked.

"Nothing yet, because you interrupted," Adam told him rudely.

"Don't talk to him like that!" Jack admonished. "He was just asking a simple question."

"Oh, I don't mind how he talks to me," Ryan said. "He can use any tone he wants." Then he winked at Adam. Actually winked!

Adam was astounded by the action, but not as astounded as Jack. "Did you just wink at him?" the latter inquired a little peevishly.

Ryan shrugged as if it were a mystery. "I don't know, did I?"

"Yes, you did!" Adam said shrilly. "We both saw it!"

Ryan sighed dramatically and admitted, "Okay, fine, I winked at you. It's hard not to when you've got that brilliant, sexy hat on."

Adam's hand automatically flew to his dashing head attire.

"In all honesty, I came over here to talk to you about something really serious, Adam," Ryan continued. "Jack, I hope you don't see me any differently after this."

And that was when Jack realized: the hat his second oldest brother had been telling Chris Berry about hadn't been his trapper hat; it had been Adam's spectacularly debonair umbrella hat. It was Adam who was so handsome. The comprehension made Jack very sad.

"Adam." Ryan's voice brought Jack back to reality, and he watched helplessly as the love of his life tenderly placed his hands on the considerably less hairy shoulders of another.
"Adam, I am in love with you." Tears glistened in Ryan's huge, poop-colored orbs, and in Jack's eyes as well, although his were the tears of rejection and neither of the others noticed them. "The hat made me realize it," Ryan continued. "And I know incest is heavily frowned upon, but I can't help my feelings. I love you."

"Ryan," Adam whispered, and Jack selfishly wondered how to ensure his oldest brother perished in a mysterious stage fire at the concert. But it seemed he didn't have to plot anyone's demise, because then Adam said:
"I can't be with you, Ryan. I have feelings for someone else."

"Who?" the middle brother asked dejectedly.

"Jack."

The world seemed to stop spinning right then and there. Had Jack heard that right?

"But, Adam!" he blurted. "I'm in love with Ryan!"

"What?!" Ryan and Adam shouted simultaneously.

The three of them stood in a circle and glanced around at each other in bewilderment as if they'd never met before. All three of them were in love with one another?! It was a Metzcest miracle!

"You know there's only one thing to do now," Adam said with a pointed look at his brothers.

"Forget this ever happened and move on with our lives as normal?" Ryan suggested.

"Go see mental psychiatrists who can hopefully fix our fucked up ideologies?" Jack offered.

Adam frowned. "No. Three-way makeout sesh. Duh."

"Ohhh, that makes so much more sense," his brothers agreed together, shaking their heads in amusement at how stupid they had been to think incest was wrong.

The three of them retreated into an empty dressing room to commence their makeout session, instructing Chris Berry to guard it and to not let anyone open the door. Chris assured them he would, but he got bored after a few minutes and left.

Later, when Austin Roa came into the room to grab his camera and saw three grown brothers practically eating one another, he was instantly traumatized and was forced to seek professional therapy for the rest of his life. His deepest desire from that moment onward until the end of his existence was to drown his eyes in bleach.

Austin was never seen again.