Words In the Wind || an angsty Steddie oneshot

Words In the Wind

Steve looked lazily into the the mirror that sat formented onto the windshield, staring into the back of the RV. Robin, Nancy, and Dustin were sleeping on the couches and pullouts within, getting well deserved rest. Eddie was wandering around, looking in the low-stocked cabinets for something to eat. He found a box of dry cereal and made his way up to the front.

Eddie sat heavily in the passanger seat beside Steve. Eddie looked over at Steve, who looked way too sleepy to be driving. Steve shot Eddie a glance, noticing the eyebags hanging low under his eyes. They were both tired.

"You should get some rest, Munson." Steve says, his voice slurred and low from lack of use.

Eddie continues staring at Steve, examining him. The way he is leaning against his left arm, planted firmly against the window, and driving with his right arm outsretched to the top of the steering wheel. He uses his right foot to press the pedals and leaves his left foot tucked underneath his seat. A single strand of hair falls into his face and is blown away again by the air conditioning over and over. Eddie longs to reach out and tuck it away, just so it wont inconvenience Steve.

He looks away. "Nah, I'm good."

Steve makes a face. "What do you mean 'you're good?' You need sleep. As much as you can get." He lowers his voice as to not wake the others.

"I promise I'll be fine, Harrington." Eddie mumbles through a mouth full of cereal. "I wouldnt be able to get any sleep anyway."

Steve dares to glance at Eddie yet again. Hes staring out the window when Steve looks over, his feet propped up against the dash of the RV. Steve cant help but smile.

He quickly fixes his face back to his normal expression when Eddie looks back over at him.

"What do you mean?" He asks quietly.

Eddie shakes his head slightly. "Nothing its just.. with everything going on I don't think I would be able to sleep either way. I dont really want to either, with all the nightmares I've been having lately."

"Hmm." Steve stares out at the road. He thinks of how to respond, what he should say. He's not exactly sure how to tell someone that it doesn't really get better. That even though you'll get better at ignoring them, the memories and the flashbacks won't stop happening. He's not exactly sure he could bring himself to break someones spirit like that, especially not Eddie's. So, he just speaks. "I have nightmares a lot. I've had them since i was little, but after everything these past three years they've just gotten worse and worse. I wish there was some way i could help you."

Eddie chuckles, lowly. He doesnt look at Steve this time, he doesn't know if he could bare it. "It's alright, man. They usually aren't that bad, and dont get me wrong they do suck, but it's not like Chrissy's death playing on loop or anything. Actually, its usually my own." He mumbles the last sentence quietly.

Eddie looks away from Steve, not knowing what to expect as a reaction. Steve secretly glances again at Eddie.

"Your own?" Steve asks gently. He is trying desperately not to pry.

Eddie nods even though Steve isn't really looking at him anymore. "Yeah, but not the actual death just the after, like, after im gone." He swallows heavily and looks down at his shoes.

Steve turns his attention to Eddie, glancing occasionally at the road to ensure their safety.

Eddie continues warily. "It's always just my tombstone, the final mark that I was ever even alive. Atleast thats what it feels like in the dream. I see my uncle happily living, the trailer we live in is ten times cleaner and he looks so..." Eddie chokes on his words. His eyes are teary and there is a merciless lump in his throat, clawing its way out. "he looks so relieved."