I was currently walking back home with a twelve pack of Kansas Half Iced Tea Half Lenonade. Today was Movie night with my girlfriend and I'm approaching the house, Huh that's a new car, did she buy another one? I grab my key and insert it in the keyhole slowly and slowly turn it as to not cause a sudden loud noise.
When I open the door I find my girlfriend with some girl fisting her on the couch, they stop and stare at me, after awhile of just staring my girlfriend dead in the eye I crack open a Kansas Half Iced Tea Half Lemonade and take a sipe before I speak one word
"...Okay"
I set the Kansas Half Iced Tea Half Lemonade 12 pack down and grab a can opening it and swiftly drinking it, I crush the can under my shoe and walk into the kitchen to throw it away.
"Hey! We still doin movie night? That gal can join too!" I call from the kitchen
I can hear her confusion as I put 8 cans in the refrigerator and I grab 3 cans, 1 for me, 1 for my non important ex-girlfriend, and 1 for the female sidecharacter.
"Uhhhh, Sure?"
"Aight, I'll start making the popcorn you two choose a movie."
"Okaaayyyy?"
I grab two popcorn bowls one smaller than the other, In the larger one I fill to the brim with popcorn and top it with a special powder my family makes and in the smaller one I put some butter and salt on it. When I enter the room I ask a simple question.
"Where haven't you guys fucked?" I ask
"Well... We haven't fucked on that chair and I think that's about it..." The female sidecharacter replies
I simply have one thought as I hand them the Kansas Arnie Palms and the large popcorn bowl. That poor TV....
*Timeskip after a mediocre Movie*
I stand up and crack my back as I start to head to the kitchen to grab my bag and stuff it with Kansas Half Iced Tea Half Lemonade. When I fill it to the brim I hoist it over my shoulder before going towards the door.
"Welp I'm out, hope you two lead good lives."
My only there for plot convienience ex-girlfriend calls out to me
"What do you mean 'hope we lead good lives?' We're still together!"
I stare at her with a "wtf" look on my face
"Bitch I know you ain't say we still together after you two fucked in the entire damn house. Goofy Ah."
And with my parting words said I left the house carrying Arizona half iced tea half lemonade and went to my old red pickup truck. I put my key in the ignition and started to drive off
