"Doctor? Why didn't you make love to me last night?"
"Last night is past, and I always make sure to forget the past."
"No doctor, you're lying. Every accumulated hatred, from 5, 10 years ago, maybe even from birth are weighing all their weight on your shoulders. Thus your have to permanently fight against them so as not to be crushed under them.
" That's why I always hasten to forget pleasurable moments, even if it was only last night."
"Pleasurable? You're just lying next to me without even brushing my hand, and you find this pleasurable? It means that there'd still be hope for me."
- Maria and Black Jack from ova 3
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Kuroo Hazama a. K.a. Blackjack is probably the only character with the highest number of romantic relationships in the Tezuka star system ( compared to other characters) . Despite his appearance, he is considered to be a very attractive man by women. However, the unlicensed surgeon has always been reluctant about getting into a relationship throughout the manga's volumes and ova series. This is due to the nature of Blackjack's character ; it is difficult for him to maintain a serious relationship with a woman as a result of his reputation and fear of not being able to offer them a secure, happy life. ( dude I don't care about your rep, you're just hot and I just wanna bang can't you understand 🙁?)
"I can't offer you a secure life, you know that. Looks have never impressed me, but they impress others, and you're beautiful. You could choose from any man in the world. I'm an outlaw." - Blackjack ( this is literally the cutest quote I've ever heard 😍😍)
His bad boy rep 😈 as we may call it is one of the reasons why most of his relationships don't work out and why he's so reluctant about getting into a relationship. Here, I'm going to try finding other reasons and analizing them. This will, I hope, allow me to understand this character better!
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" Sometimes I wonder if I'm even human anymore. Sex, love... even the slightest yearning I've repressed and rechanneled into my rage to go through each day which passes. It's not that I don't want company, but people who praise me, they have no idea of what lay beneath the surface of my synthetic and borrowed skin. My artificial jaw bone, the muscles from my dead parents, the dead nerves in my stomach from too many self surgeries, the uneven bones of my once amputated arms: this is the true me, and it'd drive any would-be lovers away at first sight. So eventually, it'd always end the same way. And I'd left biding farewell or not without telling my whereabouts. The day I put this on was the end of me. There would be no long lasting love. No real intimacy. No real losing oneself in someone else. Not in this life. But I don't feel lonely as I know I'll always be alone at final." - Blackjack
And here it is! Another reason!
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In reality, if Blackjack often rejects women's moves towards him, such as Maria's in ova 3, it's because he's in a constant escape against his hatred caused by the events of his past. Thus he's in a constant escape of his past, so as not for all his hatred to catch up on him. Or else, he'd be consumed by it. That's why he always make sure to live in the present moment, thus not wanting to get attached to anyone. So as not to be stuck in past events and always move on with his life. That's what the lyrics of the opening song which describes well his philosophy of life ( Just before the sunrise by the Rhodes) highlights : "When someone asks for your name, answer that you're a traveler. Then bid farewell without telling your whereabouts." I found those lyrics beautiful because it's true that in life, you meet people with who you won't always keep in touch. That's part of life, and you have to get on without them. But what's even more beautiful and what makes Blackjack so serene about it, is that as he had said to Megumi after they had kissed ; Moments and feelings are eternal, they will always exist even when you move on with your life.
