let me be selfish- byler

prolouge

"it's hard to tell to tell people how you really feel, especially to the ones you love because- because they might not like the truth."

Will just wanted to eat a fist full of sand then and there or smoke some purple palm tree delight. he wanted to do anything to let out his frustration. he didn't know if it was because he was venting about his unrequited love to the very person that didn't reciprocate those feelings or because of how oblivious mike was.

will thought about what he said to mike on their way to nevada.  during that conversation with mike, will had an epiphany. his entire life, especially this past year, he has never been selfish. ever. it's never been about him. did he go missing? sure. but when he came back he was pushed to the side like and overlooked by everyone. he was ready to piss his pants while sitting in that car because he was terrified to just talk. to make it about him one time. especially with mike.

getting those words out however, made him realize that it wasn't that bad. he knew he couldn't be selfish, he couldn't have mike. he couldn't even tell him. El was the sweetest, coolest girl he knew. She adores Mike and he adores El. if he were to be selfish, it will ruin everything between him and the two most important people in his life, and possibly their relationship.

talking with mike made him realize that a simple disguise could allow him to be selfish. while it wouldn't satisfy his heart, it would ease his mind. and he needed to ease his mind desperately.

"...and when you're different... you feel like a mistake"

"if she was mean to you or seemed like she was pushing you away it's because she's scared of loosing you."

when it came out this time, it stung. will couldn't help but turn to the side and cry. the loud sounds from the van's worn motor muted the sound of his cries.

he took advantage of the fact that mike was slow. academically he was very smart but logically; not as much. so he used El as a scapegoat to vent to his crush. little did he know, mike could tell that he meant something else. he couldn't put a finger on it but will was trying to tell him something and mike knew him well enough to know that.

NOTES
First things first, this is gonna be a pretty angsty fanfiction. i love writing angst. it'll be an angsty book with a happy ending tho so don't worry. however, this book is improvised (well sorta) i have a general idea of where i want to go with this fanfiction, but no set plan/script. i still don't know if there will be a major character death in this book, so i haven't put out a set warning for that. when i do finish this book however i'll be sure to put a warning for any new readers if i decide to have a major character death. (i love writing sad things lmao sorry)

secondly, NO SMUT. these characters are minors and i do not feel comfortable writing smut ab them. argue w me all you want idc go somewhere else if ur looking for that. i'm not gonna age up minors just for the sake of sexualizing them.

with that being said, i'll just say the usual, these characters are not created by me and belong to the duffer brothers. this is a fanfiction (not real or canon) between the fictional characters will byers and mike wheeler, not the actors. this fanfiction is set pretty much right after the events of s4. happy reading babies!!!!!

one last thing, i'm pulling some of these chapters from my notes app so they might have some grammar errors so if y'all see them don't hesitate to lmk!