loving you is hating me.
I wish I could love you and give you everything you need but I can't even remember the last time I thought of you in my future.
I know we will never truly be yet I still would let you destroy every inch of me if that is what you needed.
Because you do not love me but I will always yearn to be yours even if I will never allow myself to be yours.
I dread wanting you. I wish I could love another yet no one can cause me to take my eyes from your smile of others. yet when we don't talk for many months I see you how sad you are maybe not from me but maybe it is because of what I do and cause you to have to go through.
We try and stay away from each other yet we can't. we promise ourselves that this will be the last time yet it never is. I just want to tear my body apart so I will no longer have to feel this for you.
The only person that can make me feel this terrible thing that I don't want to feel yet I feel your gaze on me while we sit in a room together in far places yet we still find each other and i hate how it makes me want you.
i hate how i see you in my dreams when you are mine and I am able to be yours.
I give you everything I have, every crevice of my body and my hate for myself is gone just your presence fills the space.
we could have been so amazing together. I hate how when ever I type the word 'love' your name is next to it.
I hate how your name is carved into my keyboard my auto correct the only reason it is there even after months of not talking to you it is still there consuming me, the hatred I have for myself because I can't feel this for anyone but you.
yet you, i see how easy it is for you how happy you can be without me and I am happy yet wish you would need me as much as I need you but it's okay that you don't because I never needed or expected you to after everything I did to you and I almost feel like crying because how it all started.
you just saw that I had no life left in my eyes and you gave me some of yours. but you ruined it and teared it to bits then you left me worse but also better in a twisted way and I will always treasure the corpse you left behind of us.
M.H
This was about a girl in my life.
I wrote it a while ago about her
Never for her to read.
YOU ARE READING
The Thing's You Don't Know
PoetryPoetry i think. It's about someone special that i have felt i loved. Parts of it are about other things that I used to or are going through old and new things I wrote are part of this. ♡♡♡♡♡♡ I don't really know how this works.
