Forever & always Simon and Wilhelm

Christmas break

Wilhelm POV:

I left him.

I turned around and walked away. I should've kissed him in front of everyone,

it wouldn't change anything.

Everything we built up was falling slowly into small, small pieces and then,
It came crashing down, and now it's nothing left.

I got in to the car and left everything behind.

And from that moment I promised myself, no matter what happens, I'll
always.
Put him first.
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The castle is beautiful I must say, it will always be my home.
A home were I live not a place were a want to be.
The only place a want to be is with Simon.
Doesn't matter where
Just with him, and I'll feel safe and loved.

Loved

I don't know if he loves me, maybe he loved being with me, maybe he loved me before I told the world it wasn't me in the video.

I don't blame him for not wanting to be my secret, I would've done the same if I was in his position.

Getting out of the car and walking in to the castle, I was greeted by some random bodyguard I've never seen before.

" the Queen would like to speak to you, crown prince. " I knew he didn't have the right to say ' your mother ' but it made me feel like some sort off quest.

I nodded and then made my way to my mom's office. I guessed that she just wanted to welcome me back and tell me all the meetings I had for the next two weeks.

I knocked on the door and waited for permission to enter.

" come in " I heard.
I walked in and sat on the chair opposite her.

I'm still mad at her for lying to me about the video, like why would someone's mom hide something like that from her own son.

Someone who loves you wouldn't do that

And as usual we aren't a normal family.

" hi mother " I felt numb, talking to her was like talking to a stranger or someone you knew but at the same time didn't .

I wanted to ask her what her favorite color was or how her day have been or anything, but I didn't.

" so I wanted tell you about meetings you will have and one more thing " I just nodded slowly.

" so your first meeting will be on Monday then Friday and the week after that Wednesday and the you're going back to school "

It wasn't that bad, but if I could I would trade it all away.

" okey and what's the other thing? " I just wanted it to be over and go to sleep.

" yeah about that, I was thinking you could get a new hair cut, so people won't think you look like  you in the video "

I looked at her with wide eyes. Was she being serious?!
But I was to tired to argue with her.

" yeah of course, "  was all I could say and then left her office.

So that's what I did the next day.
( you can see it in photo at the beginning )
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The rest of the break was boring, nothing made me happy not even Christmas. I sat quiet looking down at my food while my mom and dad was having a conversation laughing.

They probably didn't notice that I was there.

Everyday I was thinking about what Simon said that day I went to see him after I denied the video.

' you have to figure out what you want '
' I don't want to be anyone's secret '

And I understand that now, I want to be with him, but coming out to an entire country makes me feel anxious. Like really anxious.

Letting him go is for the better.
I know.

But I can't, he's the only one I have left.
Or had.

But I was willing to fight for him, for us.

But not yet I wanted to talk to him first.

Maybe friends is better, what if he doesn't want to be with me?

Maybe I took him for granted.

I forgot him on the way, he was also in the video, not just me.

Well now it's only him in the video and some mysterious guy on top of him kissing all over his body and one hand inside his underwear.

It was beautiful, and August took it way from us. It wasn't just a one night stand, I think that's what most people think.
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The rest of the break went on and then it was time to return to Hillerska tomorrow.
I wonder if I'll see Simon.
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So this is the first chapter:) I hope you like it:)
Just so you know English isn't my first language.