Runaway

Camille

TW: Mentions of abuse and sexual assault and harassment in the chapter you have Been warned.

     Tell me about yourself, do you talk a lot or not at all? Do you eat with your mouth open or closed? whats your opinion on woman's rights? I know your probably wondering why am I asking you all these personal questions, well its to keep you from asking about me, confused? well if you get a person to talk about them selfs they forget about you and stop asking you questions. How do I know this well I have been doing this for years . I hate talking about my self and it wasn't always like this, I used to talk about anything and everything but when people don't listen or tell you to shut up and  what your saying doesn't matter it takes a toll on you and you eventually just... Stop.

    Thats how I am now a big ball of anxiety and insecurities but don't let that fool you I still seek danger and excitement to just feel alive but my anxiety stops me and of course my parents.

     Todays the first day of my junior year in high school and I can't wait for it to be over.  why you might ask well I'm not telling who do you think I am telling you all my juicy  secrets already at least take me on a date first gosh.  

     Anyways I don't sleep much my body is in constant pain both physically and mentally but I have to be strong I can't let them see me cry it only fuels them up to keep going even more I had to learn that the hard way.

I roll over from the cold mattress in the basement and look at the clock its currently 6:30 am, and knowing me i am definitely going to be late. I slowly stand from the mattress on the floor I can hear my bones cracking " fuck" I mumble I quickly scold my self I have to be quite, always quite he wakes up around this time and I don't wanna get caught. After bringing myself to my full height of 5'4 holding my breath as I can feel my muscles spasm and ache I slowly very slowly climb up the stairs. I open the basement door slowly peaking my head up I don't see any one.  I close the door back behind me, and make my way into the bathroom. I start getting ready for school.

I slowly take my clothes of its a task that seem's nearly impossible but I do it, I look up at my body it looks like god got drunk and scribbled all over the canvas and just  said fuck it, absolutely no thought or care what so ever when it came to me, did that with my life to huh.

I snap out of my thoughts and step into the shower and turn the water on. I release a series of curse words as the water falls down on my cuts and bruises, I quickly wash my body up as i watch the dirt and blood go down the drain never to be seen again. I wish that could be me and I will just cease to exist but wishes never come true do they.

I step out of the shower and go through my steps today I have more bruises than usually so I put on a long black turtle neck shirt and some black denim jeans. While every other girl is going to be wearing skirts and tank tops I'm stuck looking like I'm about to go to combat, but a part of me finds comfort in that knowing that I will blend in and no one will know that I'm even there.

I look at my phone and see that its 7:00am I start to panic remembering that I have to walk to school so I grab my concealer and start covering the bruises on my face luckily theres not to much they weren't to ruff on my face. I than add some lipgloss and some mascara, I. have hyper pigmentation on my eyelids so it looks like I have eyeshadow. I than slowly crack the bathroom door open and step out into the living room, our house is really small 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom so you can hear everything, I  began tip toeing though the living room until I reach the front door and open it. I breath out loudly you know big bitches can't hold there breath for long. I put on my shoes and grab my backpack I always keep them on the porch so when its time to  leave I can do it more quietly.