I Hope This Lasts

C1

 (Analisa's (Main main character) POV)

Imagine meeting your dream girl by simply replying to a comment. Luckily yet unluckily enough I did. We must've replied to said comment at least 80 times. Within the course of a couple days to around week or two, we replied to each other's comments rather quickly, sometimes after a day or two; after a while I found myself looking forward to her replies, refreshing the page over and over in case she had replied to me, I would even close out the tab for a second the go straight back on just in case she had. I hadn't wanted to make her wait. I also was entirely too excited to get to talk to her again to make her wait, as soon as I saw she replied I was straight back into the book, scrolling down for what seemed like forever because of all the times we responded to one another. The author of the book actually replied to it after our avalanche of comments, we told her we loved her books and we apologized for commenting so much to which she said it was fine as long as we didn't mind people peeking into our conversation. 

Anyways, I know if I were reading this, I would definitely be wondering who this mystery girl is by now. Her name is Radka. First of all, what a pretty and unique name right, and second of all, she is so dreamy; even her name gives it away. I personally had never heard that name and just the mere thought of her saying it sent a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. We continue dming on here once I finally had the courage to ask, to which, no surprise here she was absolute sweetheart about, she was reassuring and very nice. We got to know each other a bit more and I found myself waiting around for her to reply even more, if that was even possible. I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I spent practically every free moment I had thinking about her. 

Throughout time we had given one another our Instagram accounts and we talked even more often. I caught myself staying up to talk to her more, and to my astonishment she had been doing the same. Both of us staying up till ungodly hours of the day to get to talk to each other more. We had both messed up our sleep schedules even more than they already were and yet, I don't think either one of us really cared. All I know is I wanted to talk to her as much as I could. We would send each other pictures throughout the day whether it was of us, what we were doing, what class we were in, a little doodle, a picture of our friends, a picture of someone we collectively loved, whatever. We talked forever and about anything that came to mind. 

To be honest I was still trying to figure out my sexuality and though a part of me knew I was crushing on Radka unbelievably hard, yet I still wasn't entirely sure my constant excitement to talk to her was normal for friends. 

Is getting butterflies while talking to her a normal 'friend feeling'?

Should I be getting this flustered while talking to her? 

Should I be blushing whenever she sends me a picture of her face?

Should I practically be kicking my feet and rolling on the floor whenever she even slightly compliments me?

Is it normal to think about her this much?

Why do I feel so different when I talk to her than when I talk any of my other friends?

Why do I literally silent scream and slightly bang my fist on whatever surface is closet to me when she calls me a nickname or even just my name?

Why do I feel like I'm melting into a puddle by just thinking of her?

Why am I imagining all these more romantic fluffy scenarios with her?

What is going on with me? 

Now I will be honest I definitely had crushes on my friends in the past I just never realized I did until a friend I made earlier this year so of course it wasn't out of the question if I had developed a crush on the brown eyed girl. I told this friend one day I thought I had a crush on her, and she said somewhat kindly just said she didn't swing that way. I had cried for at least 20 minutes thinking I had ruined everything when I asked if I ruined our friendship and she said nothing would have to change, that everything would be the same. She was admittingly a very pretty and a seemingly intriguing girl, so this was not her first time getting told one of her girlfriends had a crush on her which she told me about later on. However, I was a bit unsure if I did really have a crush on her because she really annoyed and disgusted me sometimes. Maybe I just found her attractive because that can be done without feelings attached. Throughout time I realized I hadn't had a crush on the short brunette girl. She told me about another girl who told her she had a crush on her to which she said a sort of tally number almost, continuing on with a:

"I'm just so fine I have the girls and boys falling in love"

I had never been so ashamed and disgusted at the same time in all the time I've been friends with her. I fed her ego as if it could even be fed more and I never really even had a crush. To make matter worse she wasn't the best person by any means at all. It would soon be revealed that she used people for her own benefit with no remorse whatsoever. talk bad about her "friends" behind their back, cheat, steal, lie. And all she would ever talk about most times was about all the people who had crushes on her and how she was going to have them go somewhere with her, so they'd get her something. One day the same week said girl had turned 14 she hooked up with a guy in Junior year who she had been talking to since 7th-8th grade. From then on, she would talk about that moment over and over until she hooked up with him again on school grounds to which again is all she would talk about. She had begun boring me to the point where I would have both headphones in just to avoid the same conversation over and over again and started hanging out with other friends so I wouldn't look as I was avoiding her as a result of being slightly scared, she would spread a rumor or something about me.

Now if that's how I felt about the girl who I had a supposed crush on could this be an actual crush? Did I have a crush on Radka? An actual crush?

A/n: 1,172-word chapter dis-including the a/n. This majority of this story is probably going to be written in Analisa's POV. I'm really sorry if there are any grammatical errors. I tried to make sure there weren't any but I'm pretty blind and I'm not the best at grammar to begin with. I'm not too fond of this chapter to be completely honest however, I as well as my friend who I pitched this idea to have been waiting to have it published. I hope overtime my writing skills will strengthen. Nonetheless, I hope you liked the first chapter of "I Hope This Lasts" as well as the song attached to this chapter which is obviosuly not mine. The artist of the song is "Frances Forever" (REALLY CLOSE TO THE MITSKI SONG OML I LOVE THAT SONG) I'm not so sure the songs will always go with the chapter it'll more than likely be songs I like so my apologies for that.