Round 1: The Alien and The Elf

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An elf and an alien sit in the frontseat of a car. As much as they wish it that is not the beginning of a joke. It is their sad and cruel reality.


"For the last time, move your stupid bow," said the alien, pushing the tip of the weapon away from his elbow. Again. "Put in the backseat."


"No," was all the elf said. One word answers had been all the alien could get out of her this entire journey.


"Look, you've got to give me a better reason then that or I am going to snap the damn thing in half and toss it out of the window."


The elf turned to face him, glared, but began to speak, "I need it. If it is in the back seat and we are attacked it will take me aproxametly three seconds to grab it and load an arrow. Three seconds. Do you know how much can happen in that time? Our attacker could have already shot me. Shot you. Maybe they didn't have a gun but millions of teeth. It would only take two to bite your head off. Don't you see? I am protecting your head. So shut up."


"And my bow isn't stupid," she finished, turning back to face the front of the car.


The alien just looked at her out of the corner of his single eye. "Wow. Have you gone this long keeping all that in?"


She said nothing.



"You're so serious, do you ever smile?" The alien sighed. "Come on, we can be friends you know. This doesn't have to be misserable. Look, I'm sorry I called your bow stupid."


Silence for a moment, then, "Thank you."


"It's actually pretty beautiful," said the alien. And it was. The wood was smooth, almost milky in complextion, looking like human chocolate. Elfen words were etched into its surface, all swirls, a sickingly pretty language. "What's its name? You name them, right?"


"We do," she said and paused, as if she didn't want to answer. She said something but it was too quiet for the alien to make out.


"Come again?"


"It's name...is Bowey." You could feel the heat her cheeks gave off as they flushed with embarasement.


The alien died laughing and almost swerved the car into a ditch.


"I was little, okay? It's stupid—they shouldn't let us name them that young," she said, turning to face out her window, hoping to hide her embarasement.


"Haha, oh man...does it sing?"


"What?" the elf turned back to him, eyeing him funny. "Of course it doesn't sing. Why would a bow sing?"


"You know...David Bowie. I was making a pun..."


The elf just stared blankly.


"He was a human singer."

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⏰ Last updated: May 08, 2015 ⏰

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