No Lucidity

A pick at my brain

It's times like this that I wonder...

Does this feeling ever go away or is it really here to stay?

I'm sick of being the way I am. I feel like no one really understands.

I just wish I could disappear. Some days I feel like I don't want to be here.

Like will I ever figure out my lifelong plan?

And I just wish I was so much better than what I am.

My thoughts and feelings only make sense to me, thinking I can't give them away, no one will truly believe.

I'm trapped inside my head until I find, that distraction to pass by the time.

Fighting against what is supposed to help not realising that's an issue within itself.

Being a burden is just not on my list so I suffer alone in a crisis.

I know there are people there, but I can never believe that they actually care.

Self-sabotage is what I do best so please give me some time just to rest.

Then I'm lazy and don't get things done, I seem to procrastinate just for fun.

It's like a vicious cycle circling around in my head. Then I often think I'll be better off dead.

I don't want to be pessimistic, but there are always things in the way, climbing endless mountains and pushing people away.

I hear these things get better with time. I've just been waiting in line for a while.

Mental health is a crazy thing but here I am and I exist.

IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY ❤️